#and as for his insecurity like… typically old and ‘spiritually actualized’ people are of the hardest to analyze in terms of insecurities

[lovemesomesurveys]

5000 questions survey series--part forty

LOTR The Two Towers

3801. Who is your favorite Lord of the Rings charater and why?

I’ve never seen LOTR or had the desire to see it. This isn’t a whole survey about it is it...

3802. In the Lord of the Rings...how do the characters go on when the forces against them are so powerful?

How can they go on when so many awful things have happened?

3803. What is it that makes middle earth worth saving?

3804. Is Frodo making a personal sacrifice by taking the ring to be destroyed?

3805. What would you do in Frodo's place?

3806. When you saw the two towers did you really want the Ents (Treebeard etc.)to get involved in the war?

3807. Why didn't Merry and Pippin just allow the Ents to take them home to the shire? 

What could two tiny hobbits do in a great war?

3808. Why did the elves go to Helm's Deep?

They had a dusty old alliance but they could have escaped and made a new and better life, without risking their lives.

3809. Who is the most heroic LOTR character and what makes them a hero?

3810. What characters in LOTR put their own interests before the interests of all?

What characters put the interests of all above their own interests?

3811. Aragorn left the elvish girl he loved. How could he leave someone he loved? Isn't love the highest thing that there is? What could he possibly have valued higher than love that he left her for? Do you agree with him?

3812. What LOTR character displays the most humanity?

3813. What did you notice that was different between the Two Towers book and movie?

3814. Why is Frodo so kind to Gollum?

3815. You are in Helm's Deep on the eve of battle. Do you put on a suit of armor and fight, or crawl into the caves and hope to be protected?

3816. What have you risked your life for?

What would you?

3817. With the constant threat of violence, war, nukes, terror, chemicle weapons, etc. aren't we all in a similar position to those in the Lord of the Rings?

3818. How can we go on when the evil in this world is so powerful? No one and nothing is more powerful than God and He will always prevail.

How can we go on when so many awful things have happened? A lot of bad has happened, but a lot of good has, too. 

3819. What is it that makes our Earth worth saving? Because there is good that exists. We’re only here but a short time. We need to do what we can while we’re here.

3820. Who's responsibility is it to save our world? Ours.

3821. Who was more technilogically advance in LOTR, the 'good guys' or the 'bad guys'?

3821. What was Tolkien saying by causeing the Ents (trees) to come together with the river (by breaking the dam) and over throw Sauromon?

3822. Should Wormtoung have been killed? Should Gollum? Why or why not?

3823. In the battlee for Middle Earth, which LOTR character would you most like to be like and why?

3824. Which character do you think you actually WOULD be the most like?

3825. What is the over all ___ that you took away with you from this movie?

**End LOTR**

3826. Why do most people associate being spiritual or connected to the world as being a hippy? *shrug*

3827. Why is passion and honest emotion equated with hallmark cards/ I didn’t know it was.

3828. What words set off alarms in your brain (for me it's anarchy, pagan, etc)? Uh, a lot do.

3829. Are you dancin in the dark? I’m not dancing at all.

3830. Name 2 things you have never done in public:

1. Went out naked.

2. Used the restroom.

3831. If you had to choose out of what you just named, which one WOULD you do in public? Neither!

3832. Challenge yourself. Do whatever it is in public. Absolutely not.

Why not?

What are you so terrified of?

3832. Is hell REALLY other people? Hell is a place.

3833. Or would it be more hellish to live totally without other people? I wouldn’t want to be alone and without my family. I don’t do well in crowds, and I’m not very social or outgoing, but I wouldn’t want to be completely alone. 

3834. Leggos or linkin logs? I’ve played with both cause my younger brother was a Lincoln Logs kid, but I was definitely a Legos kid.

3835. What books have you read more than once? I’ve actually never read a book more than once. I don’t know why.

3836. Do you get different things out of reading a book a second time a year or more after reading it the first time? Is it because you are a different person after time passes?

3837. The person who goes to ____ is not the same person who comes back. Fill in the blank with anything you think fits.

3838. Quick! Empty your brain here! I don’t really have anything in particular to say.

3839. What's the best movie soundtrack? There’s many, but I do really enjoy the Sweeney Todd soundtrack.

3840. Tissues with or without aloe? I’ve never used any with aloe, but that sounds nice.

3841. Are you on any medication? Yes.

3842. Does any part of your own body disgust you? All of it...

If yes, isn't that odd? What could have caused that feeling of disgust with your own body? I’m just a very self-conscious person with a lot of insecurities and imperfections.

3843. Want some popcorn? Nah.

3844. What if Atlas shrugged? What.

3845. Who has led the most interesting life?/ A lot of people have.

3846. What movies are comming out next year that you are looking forward to? I’m not sure about next year yet, but there’s a ton I want to see this year.

3847. If someone is half man and half dog is he his own best friend? Sure.

3848. Paper or plastic? Reusable bags.

3849. Why did things make sense in childhood, but they don't now? We didn’t really understand and we were naive. The good ol’ days.

3850. Is it crazy time? Yes.

3851. If there is a lotto with 50 numbers, and a player picks 6 numbers without repeating any, what are their chances of getting all 6 winning numbers? I don’t know, man.

3852. If there were no laws and no rules name 3 things you would do that you don't/wouldn't/can't do now? I don’t know. I feel like the things I want to do but don’t do aren’t because they’re illegal.

3853. It's a costume party. What will your costume be if the theme is:

the 70's? The typical hippie look.

80's? Side pony tail, neon colors. 

under the sea? Ariel.

3854. Have you ever wanted to release the lobsters from those tanks in restraunts and put them back in the sea? No.

3855. How funky is your chicken? Sigh.

How loose is your goose? ...

3856. What's your favorite animal out of these: emu, otter, duck billed platypus, moose, skunk? Otter.

3857. priest, rabbi, or other religios leader, a judge, or a sea captain to perform your wedding? Priest.

3858. Do you think that it's okay for people to write their own wedding vows? Yes?

3859. Rank these as places to be married. 1 = best.

Your House or Yard

The Beach: IF I ever got married, this is where I’d want it to be.

A Park

Disneyland

A Forest

A Catering Hall

Las Vegas

A church or temple

A Courthouse

On a Boat

On a Space Station

3860. The Earth is doomed. A giant asteroid is headed our way. It will decimate the planet in 3.2 days. You and your family own a space pod and you have room for 7 people from the list below. Everyone else dies. Who do you pick? Orlando Bloom, Justin Timberlake, Joan Jett, John Denver, Baby Eve (the first human clone), Jennifer Lopez, Johnny Depp, George W Bush, David Bowie, Charleton Heston, Ralph Nader, Moby, Jeff Bridges, Kelly Osbourne, Frank Zappa, Bill Clinton, Britney Spears, Osama Bin Laden, The Pope, Eminem, Madonna

3861. Rank the following dead people in order of who you would like to spend the day with. 1 = you'd like to hang out with them the most.

Joan of Arc

Groucho Marx

John Lennon

Joey Ramone

Anton Levay

Tupac

Jack Kerouac

Aaliyah

John F Kennedy

Lucielle Ball: I’d love to be able to hang out with her. I love Lucy!

Jim Morrison

3862. If you could grant immortality to one person you know (can't be yourself) who would you give it to? My brother.

3863. If you could grant immortality to one person who you do not know personally but know of (writer, politician, etc) who would you give it to? I don’t know.

3864. Name a person you love: My family.

Name a person you admire: My mom.

Name a friend: My mom.

Name a relative: My mom. haha. 

If you had to condemn one of them to death to save the lives of the others who would it be and why? No.

3865. Would you rather be one of Santa's elves or a dentist? One of Santa’s elves, definitely. How fun. I’d totally be like Buddy.

3866. When you first meet people what do you talk to them about? If I’m just meeting them then it’s awkward small talk.

3867. You have been invited to a party with any sports team in the world. Which one? I don’t care about sports.

3868. Finish the sentances.

In a world where:

He was:

She was:

Together, they were:

Why do so many movie trailers start off by saying 'In a world..'? Because it takes place in a world. Ha.

3869. Make up a superhero with really unhelpful powers: Destructo. He’s very destructive, which includes the destruction of good things.

3870. A couple of days ago this guy won 14 million dollars and tried to donate 1 million to the salvation army. The salvation army turned the money down saying they didn't want dirty gambling money. Did they do the right thing? I’ve heard a lot of bad things about the Salvation Army, so that’s kinda funny they’d act like they were all innocent.

3871. If you had a spare million for charity work who would you donate it to? Something for children.

3872. What's the craziest most shocking moment of rock and roll history that you can think of? Uhhh.

3873. Why is it that if a man kills another man in battle it's called heroic, but if he kills a man in the heat of passion, it's called murder?

3874. What kind of punishment do you feel the following crimes deserve:

premeditated murder?

date rape?

drug sales?

drug use?

burglery?

3875. If you could kiss anyone in the world on midnight at new year's eve, who would be the lucky one? Alexander Skarsgard. Not so lucky for him, but. haha.

3876. You have just taken two sexy people prisoner because they found your hide out and you think they are spies. What do youd do: kill them, hump them or have crumpets and tea? Wtf.

3877. What is your new year's resolution? I don’t make those anymore.

3878. Should the U.S. focus more on the threat from N. Korea or Iraq?

3879. Would you ever have plastic surgery? If it was for reconstructive purposes.

3880. How can George Bush be considered a Christian when he a war-monger and the ten comandments say do not kill?

3881. What is the most inetesting premise for a reality tv show that you can think of? I don’t know. I watch a lot of reality TV, though.

3882. Who is the Hollywood Star next to die of a drug overdose? Yikes, I don’t know. :/

3883. Do you find yourself caring a lot about online people, even if you haven't met or spoken to them off of the computer? Yeah.

3884. When you hear the song puff the magic dragon what do you think? Marijuana. 

3885. Let's give you a tarot reading. Go on, ask any question: No thanks.

first card: the reversed high preistess.

you may be expecting things to come too easily. You should be careful not to give up if they dont go your way. You're feeling a desire to escape, to withdraw into yourself. Shrug off your current lack of focus and work diligently to acheive the goals you want.

second card: the reversed hanged man.

You shouldnt be close-minded with your situation. There are many alternatives and possible solutions to your problems. Try something new.

The last card: Justice.

what goes around comes around. Seek advice on the matters at hand from elders. Do healthy things, spiritually and physically.

3886. What does 'boo' mean dn how did it become a slang word of affection? It comes from the French word, “beau.” Huh, interesting. 

3887. How often do you stretch? I stretch out my arms and fingers a lot.

3888. Have you ever wished that you didn't have to be yourself? Oh yes.

3889. Would you rather wear shoes full of earthworms or a hat full of spiders? jlaskdjkljdklsjflks

3890. What are some things that for most people go unsaid? How we really feel about our loved ones. We don’t tell them enough, maybe not at all.

3891. I said, 'Play me the best song in the world.' You put on: 3892. What happened last year that you would like to forget? Blah I don’t know. These past few years have been really hard.

3893. What are you not able to do alone? I wouldn’t survive long on my own.

3894. Do you feel more connected to earth air fire or water and why? Water I suppose since I love the beach. I’m a big scardy cat to get in the water, it’s a terrifying thought, but I love being near it and watch/listen to the waves crash in, smell that ocean air, and feel that ocean breeze. 3895. Which two words belong together and why: life, seawater, chocolate, blood, hair piece Life and blood. You need blood to live.

3896. If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress? Uhh.

3897. Have you ever wanted to meet the inspectors with the numbers for names(i.e. inspected by 36)? Nah.

3898. Who is the most thought-provoking person you know, &why? Hmm. I don’t know.

3899. If you could change 1 thing you did in the last 24 hours, what would it be & why? I would have taken a longer nap.

3900. What is the most bizarre thing you've ever done? Who knows.

[farfromsugafanfic]

glitteringconstellations interview

Before we get started with the interview, do you mind introducing yourself (whatever name you are comfortable with) and telling us a little about yourself?

Hi everyone! I’m glitteringconstellations, Glitter or GC for short. I’ve been writing fanfiction for well over 15 years now, though I only started sharing it around 2005. I minored in Creative Writing in college and I love writing in pretty much any capacity! When I’m not headcanoning one new story or another, though, I’m either adulting (ugh, adulting) or playing video games. These days it’s mostly Skyrim. I’m fluent in Korean and passable in Japanese and Spanish. I drink way too much pop to be healthy and I hate most fruit (though, give me any kind of melon and I’ll be a happy girl). Oh, and I’m a fledgling figure skater! I’m just a hodgepodge of random hobbies haha!

Q1: What kind of fan fiction do you normally write? Have you ever written fan fiction for other fandoms other than your current one?

A1: I tend to gravitate toward angsty fics. It’s long been my outlet of frustration, to put the character I love in harm’s way. The more pain, the better, haha! Though I do love the hurt/comfort aspect of it. Recently (as in, the last year lmao) I’ve been writing for the Voltron fandom almost exclusively (and sometimes YURI!!! On Ice), but before that I was in the k-pop ficdom (Super Junior, for the most part) for a looooong time, nearly 10 years. I won’t be opening that particular can of worms, though--I have Feelings and Opinions lmao. Before that I jumped around from anime to anime.

Q2: I see in addition to fan fiction that you do commissioned fan art! I’m not an artist myself, so I find it really interesting and cool. Do you want to talk a bit about that? And, feel free to plug yourself!

A2: This is actually a common misconception--I can’t draw to save my life!! I took commissions for fan fiction back in late June as a last resort to pay my rent. Typically though I’m horrible on a deadline so I don’t like to do it too often because I feel terrible making my commissioners wait. The art you’re referring to is the comic spread for The Parting Glass, if I’m not mistaken? I actually commissioned another artist by the name of Cota (@ccooooostuff on tumblr, go check her out she’s amazing at what she does and super sweet!) for that comic with the money I got for my birthday this year.

Q3: Do you write anything outside of fan fiction?

A3: I do! I journal a lot, or I try to anyway. This year I’m hoping to tackle an original novel for Nanowrimo, but more than likely, that particular project will start as fanfiction and we’ll see if I turn it into original fiction or not. I spend more time thinking about the things I want to write than… actually… writing them lolsob. My notes will be this gigantic document but when it comes to putting things together in a cohesive manner? Haaaaaa….haha…. The blinking cursor mocks me, I swear.

Q4: I see on your profile that you are 26. I think when most people think of fan fiction writers they think of someone younger, usually a teenager. Do you encounter younger writers a lot? What do you think of this assumption?

A4: I do encounter younger writers a lot! Surprisingly, though, most writers I know are either in their late 20s or late late teens (say, 15~19). Most people tend to think I’m young anyway just because I look a lot younger than 26, but as far as fandom goes, it doesn’t really bother me if people think I’m younger than I am. Usually I’m pretty forward with how old I am on my profile anyway! But yeah, I’ve been around the fanfiction scene a while. The k-pop fandom in particular had a way of reminding me just how long on a pretty frequent basis lol.

Q5: Why did you begin writing fan fiction? If it was for a fandom, why did that particular thing make you begin writing? And, for your current fandoms?

A5: I used to tell myself stories to get to sleep or on long car trips as far back as I can remember, and most of the time they involved characters from my favorite shows of the day. Pokemon and Digimon were two big ones for me before I hit those fun preteen years. As far as what got me started actually putting those stories to paper, it was born of frustration with shows not going the way I wanted them to, so I’d write the ending I wanted to see. For Voltron in particular, it’s just SUCH a fun sandbox to play in, be it by utilizing the incredible world-building or the plethora of interesting characters to play around with. So many possibilities! *3*

Q6: Do you ever want to be published in a professional capacity one day?

A6: Yes and no. I flip flop on this ALL the time. I’d LOVE to see my stories on shelves, but I’m actually very insecure and sometimes the thought of people reading my stories makes me want to die of embarrassment and sink to the center of the earth. That said, if I win Nano this year, I may run it by some publishers, even if only to get feedback. (Although if you want to get TECHNICAL I am officially a published journalist; I was an assistant editor for one of The Big 3 kpop news sites for a while. The one that starts with S. Also another can of worms.)

Q7: Has writing fan fiction taught you anything? About writing? Reading? The fandom? Etc.

A7: Oh absolutely. I definitely would not be the writer I am today without fan fiction. I wouldn’t say I’m super skilled, but the critique I’ve received over the years has helped me more than I have words for, honestly. Not even just in the capacity of writing fiction; my academic and professional writing has improved too. Also, just like reading anything in high volume, reading fanfic has helped me learn to read like a writer, how to pick out things that authors do that I admire and try to emulate that, and conversely what doesn’t work for me so I can avoid those things.

As far as fandom goes, fanfiction can be quite polarizing, as I’m sure you’re well aware. Just in my experience by and large it can be kind of toxic, to be quite honest. The particular issue Voltron faces that I experienced to some extent in other fandoms but not quite to this degree, is fandom policing. I find that certain members of the fandom (which, in my experience, tends to actually be mostly among those younger demographics, though not exclusively so) see certain topics as morally wrong and therefore anyone who writes those topics are 1) romanticizing said topic and 2) automatically a disgusting, horrible person and they have no problems telling you about all about it. The number one thing I try to put out there in my interactions is live and let live, ship and let ship. If it makes you uncomfortable, that’s okay! But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s wrong, and it’s definitely not okay to go around purporting hate in the name of “morality.” Sorry, didn’t mean to go off on a tangent there haha...

Q8: What is a piece you’ve written that you’re most proud of?

A8: Just in the Voltron fandom, I’d say the fic I’m most proud of is The Parting Glass, by far. Funny story about that one; I’d never heard the titular song before I came across a cover of it on Facebook one day around St. Patrick’s Day, and let me tell you something. The reaction I had was almost a spiritual experience, it was so visceral. I was in tears when I heard it, and the story came so hard and so fast that I wrote it in 2 days. It stayed with me until I got it down in writing. It was an interesting challenge for me, exploring the grief part of a character death fic while almost entirely omitting the actual dying part. It’s been a very long time since I’ve had such a vivid vision of exactly how a fic is going to go from start to finish and I’m quite happy with the way it turned out. Which is why, when I had the money to do so, I commissioned Cota to illustrate what had to be the hardest and yet my favorite part to write. She brought the scene to life so beautifully too, I’m really happy with how it turned out. Months later I still go back and stare at it!

Q9: Do you notice any stigma surrounding fan fiction or fan fiction writers?

A9: Without a doubt. People hear “fanfiction” and they think one of two things: the pudgy neckbeard who lives in his parents’ basement, or the rabid tween/teenage fangirl. It’s a rather unfortunate stereotype, because some works of fanfiction are truly works of art, more masterfully crafted than some novels I’ve seen published. Yet they get dismissed simply on the basis of being fanworks and not “original” (which, let’s be real, nothing is truly original anymore). One such example that comes to mind of a beautiful fic is those glittering instruments in the EXO fandom, which was based on the real-life destruction of the Library of Alexandria. If you can find a copy of it floating around the interwebs I HIGHLY recommend giving it a chance no matter what fandom you’re in!

Q10: If so, how do you feel about this stigma?

A10: Like I said, it’s really a shame. The thing, too, is that as young girls we’re often shamed for the things we’re passionate about, like boy bands and, well, fan fiction, while boys don’t get that kind of shame to such an intense degree (at least, not about the usual suspects, like sports and girls and such). Not to say that it doesn’t happen, but there’s something terribly sad about seeing more young people afraid to talk about a hobby that makes them happy because they’re afraid of being perceived as weird or gross or something like that. Hell, even to this day I have very few friends from outside the fandom sphere that know I write fanfiction, because they still talk bad and make mean jokes about fic writers. It’s such a silly thing, because a lot of famous works are derivative fiction and people don’t even realize it! So I hope the day comes soon that we can get over this silly stigma and just enjoy what people share (for free!! Seriously!! FULL NOVEL LENGTH WORKS. For FREE.)

Q11: Is there anything you’ve ever wanted to talk about or be asked that no one has asked you about or given you the opportunity to talk about? (And if so, feel free to answer/talk about it).

A11: I really had to think about this one! I couldn’t really pick one topic that I’ve really wanted to talk about that I haven’t already discussed, but no one has ever asked me if I was okay with having fanart of my work. Which I would answer with a resounding YES. I am more than okay with it QuQ

Oh, I guess I do have something!! It’s unrelated to writing (well, I guess it could be related, depending on how you look at it) but since I have your attention, if you’re an American citizen GO OUT AND VOTE. The midterm elections are one week from today in the USA and it’s important you go vote!! I won’t tell you who to vote for (a third can of worms I’m not opening up. WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY WORMS) but I assure you, your vote matters, now more than ever. I believe in you!! Go vote!!!

Q12: What is your prefered site for writing/posting fan fiction?

A12: These days I prefer to use AO3. It’s a work in progress, but it’s far and away the superior fic platform of the time. Back in ye olden days (circa 2010~2012) Livejournal was my platform of choice, and FF.net before that. A surprising number of people prefer to post their fic on tumblr, to which I say, are you out of your flipping MIND?!?! Tumblr is soooo temperamental, I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had to restart a post or go into the HTML editor because the rich text editor decided to be stupid. Noooooo thank you. I’ll stick to AO3 thanks ahaha!

Check out Glitter’s Tumblr and AO3.

Interviewer Note: Glitter used her free question to encourage everyone to vote and I would just like to stress the importance of this, especially if live in the US. Young people are the demographic that votes the least, despite being the demographic that will have to live the longest with the outcome of the vote. If you are currently not registered, please register as it is important for all of our futures. And, remember the deadline for the upcoming US election is Nov. 6th, so make sure to get to those polls and/or turn/send in your ballot. If you need information on how to do any of these things, do not hesitate to reach out to my page and I will point you to trustworthy resources. 

[meganforfreedom]

Dear Christians,

We avoid our feelings, and it’s killing us!

It has taken me the last 6 years of my life but I’ve noticed something -- something distressing about the way I have been taught to view emotions as a Christian. It has also taken me 6 years to adequately process what I have been taught and how it has impacted my life. What you are about to read is just a sliver of my own journey that I now feel ready to share. It contains some of what I’ve observed, what I’ve been resistant to, what I’ve tried, and where it has all brought me now 6 years later. It is my hope to provoke deeper thinking and exploration for any who happen to read this.

These words are addressed to those of you who would consider themselves “Christians.” It may challenge what you believe or how you go about living a transformed Christian life. I do intend to probe some of the principles with which we may feel both familiar and comfortable to uncover different ideas about how we pursue emotional wholeness in the pursuit of Christ-likeness.

Here’s what I’ve heard - A LOT

This may not match your experience of Christian teaching but here is what I have observed from my own Westernized, privileged, American experience of Christianity. We have a particular ethos as to what the Jesus’ followin’ life is to look like. I have heard it expressed in ways like this:

We are supposed to look like Jesus on the earth. We should be the best version of ourselves. We are to love. We are to live the empowered life in which Jesus has given us access. We are to maximize our potential. We are to advance God’s Kingdom. We are to live out the fullest expression of God’s purpose for our lives. We must live for Him and not for ourselves. We must surrender. We must be obedient. Each one of us would choose our own language, but what I typically hear sounds something like one of these statements. [Other thoughts on the goal of the Christian life from a non-Westernized, non-privileged, non-American point of view is entirely different blog post. I realize my VERY limited and narrow perspective here]

These are the kinds of things we say that we are after. Also, we really do the best we know how to actualize these intentions and desires with the knowledge, the tools, and the awareness that we have. We focus our teaching on what scripture says about being rooted in an identity in Christ and God’s promises for us. The beliefs and approaches that I hear emphasized most often as to HOW we go about this include things like this:

Surrender your will to God (Luke 22:42)

Take your thoughts captive (II Corinthians 10:5)

Renew the mind (Romans 12:2)

Look forward and not backward, forget the past (Philippians 3:13-14)

Get yourself out of the way (Romans 13:!4) (in other words sometimes, it’s selfish to consider your own needs)

Put off the old, take on the new (Ephesians 4:22)

Exchange lies for the truth, if you know the truth, you will grow and change (Romans 1:25)

There may be others you might add ...

These are the strategies to “a powerful Christian life” which hold the Sunday platform and the morning devotional. Don’t get me wrong, there are beautiful truths and practices here which are A PART of the transformation journey. They can lead us into growth, experiences of freedom and joy. But our methods to activate these scriptural truths are typically reductionistic at best. They are important but incomplete. We make our best attempts to apply these truths in pursuit of the transformed Christian life and our results are behavior modification at best. We can try and try and try, in our own strength, with a very incomplete process, and be left (1) exhausted and (2) very frustrated to experience same issues over and over again, no changes. This can ultimately lead to a cycle of despair in the way we view ourselves, the church, God, etc. when these efforts don’t lead anywhere. I’ve been there myself plenty of times.

Time Out

There is something else I have noticed that plays a big role in this conversation, or lack thereof. That is how we are taught to view emotions. The teaching I hear encourages us to engage in the transformed life which Christ has freely given to us by His death and resurrection (the gospel) but often discourages us from considering our emotional life or needs in that process. Do we realize that when we do this, we are overlooking an integral part of the spiritual life altogether? Do we not see that this is a big problem?  

I love studying growth and transformation. I consider myself somewhat of transformation junkie. I’ve spent the last 10 years reading and listening to anything I can get my hands on regarding spiritual growth, character development, spiritual wholeness, and the psychology of how people change. I’ve been involved in inner healing, deliverance ministry, and providing spiritual direction. I have seen beautiful things and troublesome things in some of these schools of thought. There is powerful material from all kinds of different philosophies about how this all works, but as I’ve scoured the modern Christian materials and listen to the typical Sunday sermon, I see this recurring theme emphasized over and over again: You cannot live by your emotions.

Here is a brief listing of the kinds of ideas used to further substantiate this:

Our emotions change from one minute to the next, we cannot trust them more than God or the Bible.

We are not supposed to live by our emotions, we are supposed to live by faith!

Put no confidence in the flesh (Phil 3:3)

If we are not fixed in God’s truth, our emotions will cause us to fall for anything.

Gosh, when we put it like this, it sounds like we really have no value for our emotions! When in reality, our emotional life is actually a huge part of who we are. So when the majority of what we are taught from a Christian worldview regarding the emotional life sounds like these statements, it is no wonder that we (1) develop a very negative view of emotions, (2) have no awareness of our emotional state of being, and (3) do not develop a healthy process of what to do with our emotions or how to involve them in our life with God. If a random person were to study the majority of content of Christian teaching today, they would probably conclude that emotions are misleading, they get in the way, they betray us and we cannot trust them. They pull us away from God. Furthermore, we label emotions as positive or negative and break them up into a binary construct of the ones God wants us to feel and the ones he doesn’t. Emotions like joy, peace, love, gratitude, and confidence are the positive ones that we should feel. Emotions like anger, sadness, pain, disappointment, despair, doubt, hopelessness, these are the bad emotions that we are not supposed to feel.

We further substantiate some of this ideology with thoughts like this:

Why would I ever talk about the pain of my past when I am a new creation?

Pain, anger, sorrow – none of these exist in heaven so why should they exist on earth?

Whatever is lovely, think upon these things … (Phil 4:8)

Satan oppresses us with negative emotions. 

What are we saying? What aren’t we saying?

Essentially when this is the extent of what we are taught about our emotional lives, there is a significant part of the human self that we are excluding from the conversation about the transformation journey and that we are ultimately devaluing. Furthermore, this part of the human self for which we show a general lack of value, is one that God created and I’m certain he values it greatly.

As a part of the larger conversation about Christianity and the emotional life, what I do not hear much teaching about is how we DO understand the purpose of our emotions that God gave to us. I don’t hear about how emotional health and wholeness are a part of our pursuit of Christ-likeness, how they connect to the gospel, and how they are essential to lasting transformation.  

What does this lead to?  

This leads to stunted Christian lives which are very based in cognitive transformation, in other words: “I know what is true and I know how to get there. All I need to do is change my thinking and my behavior will change. I just need to do better, I just need to try harder.  No matter what anxiety, fear, defeat, insecurity I experience in what I’m working towards, I must simply renounce those feelings and keep pressing on.” The power of the human will becomes the device we use to fight this battle. Guess what? These devices will at some point fail us. All of them! They are just not that strong or lasting. Furthermore, emotions don’t work this way. When we think we are putting our emotions off, we are actually repressing them. This means that they still exist but they are getting “stowed away” in some deep recess that will eventually find a voice. When it does, it is oftentimes to the detriment of ourselves or others. Pain always speaks. Always! Then we find ourselves surprised about the things that leak out of us and where they come from when we had no awareness all along of the cues we should have been paying attention to. Our lack of awareness prevents us from having the opportunity to process things in healthier ways and to also include God in this process.

We can do this all we want, knowing so much about how to live the Christian life but still have addictions, have secrets, do things to numb out from life, hide from each other, live out of codependency, gossip, bully others, avoid confrontation, refuse to listen, manipulate others, shut down or lash out when conversations get too hard, etc. These are all typically symptoms of underlying issues which need to be more fully addressed to find healing, health, and transformation. When we experience emotional reactions, we learn to disregard them, to shut them down, to avoid them, to hide them, and to be ashamed of them. When we do this, we literally dislocate and dissociate ourselves from a major part of how we are designed to live. It kills us! We don’t look very Christ-like because of this. We go on to pursue powerful Christian lives and unknowingly remain emotional toddlers.  

My Story

Back to my 6 year saga...I have spent this time asking all of these questions and also “doing a journey inward” to explore my own emotional life more deeply. I have had to acknowledge the ways that I have disengaged from my own emotional life, how I have devalued this part of who I am, and the damage it has done to my life as a whole person, to my relationships, and to my spiritual life with God. I have been challenged to open myself up and to engage with my own heart in much deeper, more vulnerable ways. I have been pressed to express all that I have discovered on my way before God and others in my life. I painfully deconstructed what I have been taught and what I have believed. I have been very resistant to this process and it has moved slowly for me. I have also had to face what I have taught others to do as a spiritual leader to follow in my unhealthy example. It has been messy and even excruciating at times to endure this process of exploration, but I believe that I have taken steps forward to integrate a healthier sense of self-awareness, emotional honesty, and well-being into my pursuit of freedom in Christ. My spiritual life feels so much richer, fuller, and freer than it has ever felt before. Most of the changes I have experienced as a person came when finally began to allow God and others into every part of who I am. Is this not what we were really created for? -- intimacy and union with God.

What else?

I have to admit that I do agree that our emotional life makes up just one facet of who we are. We cannot live healthy, whole lives when we operate out of one facet of ourselves without the other facets also being involved. Cognitive and behavioral efforts are important too. Emotions can be consuming and pull us into unhealthy places. They need to be acknowledged, named, experienced, processed, and informed by other parts of the human self. And God holds his place at the center of this for sure!

But the way we address this now has got to change! Our intentions may be good but I believe what we hope to prevent in our efforts actually violates God’s design for us. Our emotions (all of them) are not at war with God, they are a primary component of how we are designed. Scripture is even wrought with descriptions of the emotions God feels. They are a gift to us. The very darkest place of what we believe and what we feel are exactly where we need God and each other the most. Our transformation is found as we enter into those places with honesty and courage.  

Furthermore, I also believe that the byproduct of devaluing our emotional selves is playing out in our society and in the world in destructive ways. There is so much more to be said about this that I won’t tackle at this time. But this is also a big part of why I feel the need to voice my thoughts here. I truly believe that recovering a healthy practice of self-awareness and integration of emotional wholeness into your lives is vital to our progress as a human race. Our perspective of spirituality and transformation needs to address this. Bear in mind that any human person’s journey of emotional health is impacted by man other things besides religious teaching. Our family of origin experiences, cultural experiences, socioeconomic experiences, medical/health factors, and so many more variables all play a role together, but the church can often reinforce dysfunctional views and behaviors that we learned already somewhere else. This is a whole other can of worms.

What are we supposed to do then?  

Some of you may be thinking, Megan, you’re spouting off all of these opinions about what is wrong but you’re not offering any solutions! I hear you. The purpose of this is to start a conversation, to address a problem, and provoke us to rethink what we’ve been taught so that we can look at this in a new way. The truth is, I think that the Christian world does not do a strong job of this because we don’t know how. We can’t teach what we don’t know. We don’t even have language for it and this has to change. My hope is to continue to develop more content which addresses where we can go from here and to be a voice for what the integrated life can really be. One of my biggest passions in life is to contribute towards ways that we integrate emotional health into spirituality. There were times in history of Christianity were we didn’t see so much of a dissociation between these two worlds and I want to be a part of how we recover that in our modern age.

More to come!

Thanks for reading

[aion-rsa]

Yasuke Soundtrack: Exploring Flying Lotus’s Magical Themes

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Audio elements and sound design, especially the score, are as fundamental to animation as the visuals. The proper use of music at the right time can make the action soar and it’s genuinely exciting that more experimental and passionate creators are embracing the sonic possibilities that television allows. Flying Lotus is an innovative musician with a flair for the extraordinary that cut his teeth on many of the surreal animated series that fill Adult Swim’s programming block.

In addition to his frequent collaborations with Adult Swim, Flying Lotus’ music can be heard in everything from The Boondocks, to Grand Theft Auto V, to episodes of Atlanta and Insecure. Flying Lotus approaches art like a wondrous game and the cleansing energy that comes from his music feels like it’s trying to do something important beyond simple entertainment. His most recent music in Netflix‘s anime series Yasuke comes across as the truest distillation of the artist’s talents and passions. Yasuke’s soundtrack is so expressive and poignant because it’s the beating heart of the anime and the unsung ally that never leaves the stalwart samurai’s side.

Some themes that are persistent throughout Flying Lotus’s albums as well as his television work are death, reincarnation, and the return of magic to the world. These are ideas that speak towards survival and the promise of new heroes that will come to the world to inspire change and return “magic” to the people in the process. 

At the same time, there’s an expanding thread of elementalism and spiritualism to Flying Lotus’ music that fosters an unpredictable, rebellious energy. These themes are integral to Yasuke as the anime introduces an alternate magic-filled version of feudal Japan as it follows Yasuke, an African samurai in Japan. Yasuke rises as this new variety of savior, but the series also deals with actual magic and fantastical elements that run rampant and need to be controlled. Yasuke becomes a literal representation of the figurative ideas that fascinate Flying Lotus in his music.

A major obstacle that a lot of anime like Yasuke face is that audiences are quick to compare them to similar series and almost use archetypes of the genre as a deterrent. This can also be a crutch in music when artists become increasingly derivative of themselves or the conventions of the genre. Flying Lotus recognizes this both within himself as well as in Yasuke. There’s a concentrated effort on his part for Yasuke’s soundtrack to avoid the trappings and familiar hip-hop conventions that pepper Flying Lotus’ music, but are also prevalent in anime like Afro Samurai, Samurai Champloo, or Gurren Lagann. 

Read more

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Yasuke Creator LeSean Thomas on Breaking the Anime Mold

By Gene Ching

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Yasuke: The Real History Behind Japan’s Black Samurai

By Gene Ching

Flying Lotus has previously embraced a “jazz-like” energy where he never wants to repeat himself and do the same thing twice, but Yasuke is the strongest example of him knowing which baggage to shed and which to become vital armor for Yasuke. The anime itself also intentionally eschews genre expectations in the same manner when it introduces a picture of traditional feudal Japan that suddenly explodes with magic, mechas, and monsters. A particularly powerful sequence occurs in Yasuke’s third episode where a trippy vision explodes with cherry blossoms. Flying Lotus’s music accentuates the primal chaos and it feels like a scene that wouldn’t be out of place in one of his music videos.

Another reason that Flying Lotus’s score for Yasuke feels so distinct and impactful is that it’s a rare case where the musician composed the anime’s music in chronological order in tandem with the fictional character. This isn’t a scenario where the music was written in a vacuum or through viewing disconnected scenes from the anime. Flying Lotus aims for the music to evolve and grow along with Yasuke and for the score to exhibit as much evolution as the series’ titular character. Flying Lotus shares such a deep connection with the story and character within Yasuke that it results in a uniquely collaborative composition process where Yasuke almost works through composer.

Flying Lotus’ unique creative process for Yasuke involved him surrounding himself with certain musical instruments, including Japanese and African percussion, and allowing his body to utilize whatever tools seemed correct for Yasuke’s current actions. It’s a composition style that involves a level of lucidity that’s not dissimilar to the zen state that samurai enter in battle. This strategy doesn’t just allow Flying Lotus and Yasuke to work as one, but it also breaks from Flying Lotus’ old patterns and why this music from him has a unique flow to it. It uses Yasuke’s battle tempo as its inherent metronome. 

In the end, Flying Lotus’ soundtrack isn’t just the music that completes scenes, but it almost signifies the artist actively fighting alongside Yasuke. The score becomes one of the most dangerous weapons in this war and symbolic of Yasuke’s heartbeat as he soldiers ahead. Yasuke’s score grows more intense and powerful when Flying Lotus senses that this lone warrior needs his help. 

The score and visuals endlessly complement each other. Flying Lotus fights with his instruments while Yasuke defends with his blade and it culminates in passionate music that transcends Flying Lotus’s typically high benchmark. It’s an example of how evocative a soundtrack can be when the composer is so moved by the subject matter and can identify with the hero’s struggle. 

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Flying Lotus pours a tremendous amount of himself into the entirety of Yasuke and his affinity for the anime goes beyond just musical contributions. Flying Lotus brings up Black Panther as a point of comparison for Yasuke, both in terms of the types of stories that this anime can launch, but also with how music is so baked into its very foundation. Flying Lotus and Yasuke both thrive on a collaborative energy and so there’d be nothing more fitting than if Yasuke’s soundtrack inspires more heroes to rise up and put their own magic into the world. 

Yasuke is available to stream on Netflix now.

The post Yasuke Soundtrack: Exploring Flying Lotus’s Magical Themes appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[bl6ckr0s3]

Attention

I remember when I was in Jr. High, I had a crush on this guy name Linh. He was probably one of the cutest guys in school. He was a new student at the time during 7th grade. When I found out he liked a girl name Lisa, I was crushed & a bit jealous. What could I do? It's not like I could force anybody to like me. I remember when I use to like a guy name Johnny Lee whom was an 8th grader and coincidently he lived across the street from my house in El Monte, I was shocked. His older brother David was always cool with me. I remember when my ex-best friend by the name of Jacqueline Arias and I was joking about something and we were laughing at Johnny. I guess he got butt hurt & couldn't handle it and he stopped talking to me. I remember when I gave him an old photo of myself from 5th grade. That day he got butt-hurt about me and Jacky laughing at him, he gave me back my photo. I felt a bit bad, but whatevers. It's not worth liking a guy that was kind of a wuss. Even though he was really good looking, I let it go and moved on. I was only a kid after all. Feeling jealous is the last feeling I ever wanted to feel. Growing up as a kid all through high school, I felt jealous towards other girls who seem to have it better than I did. Who would come to realize that I would be stronger, tougher, more unique, more knowledgeable, not typical as well as gifted spiritually? Those girls got nothing on me now. The point was that it took me a long time to gain self-confidence, love, and completely rid of my insecurity. I have no jealousy towards other people in that way anymore which is great. During that time, I told God & the universe that I wanted to be the most beautiful person in the world. As I got older and men has given me compliments left & right whether it's online or at work, besides the ex bfs that I have had, it's pretty cool that what I asked for came true even though I never saw myself that way.

There's this Mexican guy that's good looking that I have seen working on the dock very few times. I either seen him when I'm walking into the dock to pick up the scanner or I see him at the end of the night when I am returning the scanner. I caught him staring at me as I passed by him. Then, during the time I was standing outside the maintenance building outside the docks smoking and taking a break. I stand by an area where truck drivers are constantly passing through to pick up or drop off their loads. This one particular truck driver actually stuck his head out part way and waved hi to me when I just happened to be turning my head towards him. I'm usually looking down on my phone playing Pokemon or reading up things on social media. I tried to take a closer look, but it was kinda dark so I couldn't really tell if the guy was cute or not, he could've been but I wasn't sure because he was somewhat too far from me. Then this song popped in my head right after he waved to me. This song by The Zombies - Time of the Season played in my mind and it's normally a song I don't listen to. It's an oldie from 1969 and it's a good song, it's not a bad song. It's not usually a song I listen to very often, but I am very familiar with it and I like the song. I thought it was really strange because that's never really happen often as opposed to something happening, then out of nowhere the song pops in my head. I read the lyrics of the song and it's basically about time for loving during this season. I'm taking it as a sign. If this driver took the time to try to communicate with me, I wonder if he drives by there everyday? I'll experiment and see if I will see him again when I am outside. I am getting the feeling that I might be meeting my 'mate' soon.

[aleatoryalarmalligator]

Life Story, Part 37

I couldn't stand anyone I knew anymore after 2003/2004. I wanted to be taken away somehow, to leave my old skin behind so to speak, but it didn't seem like that was something I could simply do as a fourteen year old. I muddled through the rest of the school year somehow. I was still very much in love with Zack. The sight of him walking down the hallway still made my heart race, I still looked for his approval, but it was hard for me to feel very much hope or positive feeling about him anymore. I knew now that he was a flawed person, and that all of this lead to disappointment. There was a growing recognition that feeling and knowing are sometimes two different things, and I was the tortured fool in the middle of both, unable to make sense of it.

At least now didn't feel the burden of needing to act. Zack had started to talk about Melissa with me. He started writing love letters to Melissa – to me for some reason. It was hard for me to read them and emotionally stay balanced. I forced myself to read these letters, and I forced myself not to be jealous. I pushed myself into some radical state of acceptance. He was also very upset that his sister Whitney was now dating Melissa's brother Josh, so now they were in this strange love square. I was beginning to feel demeaned. My heart was broken, and yet there was no space to go away. My friends did not care that my best friend had just casually had sex with the love of my life, a guy who had been leading me on with every ounce of energy he spent in the day, only to find out that he already had a girlfriend and that his interest in me had no clarity at all. And I was starting to feel like he really didn't actually care about me either. Yes, he thought I was a magical special creature here to make the world a better place. He seemed sort of obsessed with me, and maybe there had been something between us. But he didn't care about the version of me who was simply a girl trying to get by in the world who had feelings and aspirations. It's better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you aren't.

I just felt demeaned somehow. Honestly, it had been a rough fucking year for me. With this whole thing with him, my father's abuse, losing trust in everyone and everything, losing my best friends really and now realizing that they were more mindless and untrustworthy than I had imagined, I felt like I had been projected so far into a state of nothingness that there was no turning back. There would never be a time going forward where I could continue being the person I had been. That naive girl was dead. How had I gotten to this place? I kind of knew that this was me now, and this was the world. I had been blind before, and now I saw the world for what it was, much as I might have liked to have put all this behind me and proceeded as if nothing had changed. It left me feeling empty and sick inside.

We had this very dumb teacher named Mrs. Brammer. She had been my teacher clear back and fourth grade, and she didn't like me any more now that I was older. Really, what was horrible about her though was the fact that she actually didn't understand English and had no business teaching it whatsoever to high school students. This is a typical thing for small towns, since the budget is very small. We started reading Fahrenheit 451, and she had no idea what was going on in the story, or why it mattered. She had us skip several chapters because she couldn't understand them. If I deserved an F, so be it, but so did she.

For the last part of our English class, she wanted us all to write poems. I had been writing a lot of poetry at that time, after the miserable situation I had gone through, I was now able to be the kind of person who could express themselves in the abstract. Thankfully, almost none of it exists today. Most of it wasn't very good, terrible if I am going to be honest, and related to working through and trying to understand my place in the world, and what was going on with me emotionally at the time. It was contrived, self absorbed and embarrassing – what you might expect from a slightly foolish broken hearted teenage girl who thought that freemasons ran the government and had just lost everything she held dear. I would type out three or four poems a day, print them out, and put it in this book that I had pasted a picture of David Bowie as the goblin king in the Labyrinth on the front of. I picked some less personal poems from my collection for this particular school project, and I actually was able to get some kind of grade for her class, though I would not read them in front of anyone so my grade was docked. I remember all the boys in my class had written poems about football.  One of them went something like 1,2, kicked football with my shoe … ecetera. At the end, the closing line was “touchdown”. It was hard not to laugh. I know it's not nice to laugh at other people's poetry, but it was hard to not watch this crude ignorant ass read this with all seriousness in their dim little eyes. For  these young men, for most people I went to school with, this is as complex as any emotion could ever be. Kicking a ball around. And Ava ended up plagiarizing her poems from various lyrics, she was praised for her creativity. I have no idea how she didn't get caught.

I had somehow been able to hide the chair I busted from my dad by taking the pieces and hiding them in a dumpster downtown. Later I think David told him, but he didn't do or say much to me about it to me strangely enough. Maybe an act of violence was something my father might actually be able to understand. After I broke the chair, I laid on the floor all night and didn't think of anything, only this swirling feeling of my own reality, not even due to my circumstances, just this strange sense that I was simultaneously alone in the universe, that I was sentient, temporary, and at the same time interconnected with everything else. I had never ever seen myself this way. I had more or less been like a small rodent who finds things they like and takes them in. I had not questioned my place in the world, or the meaning behind it up till now. I wondered honestly if anything had ever actually been real. It is strange how pain can do that to a person.

I woke up that morning still on the floor and I felt like a completely different person. I didn't feel good, or bad anymore. Like some old ancient wisdom had simply been found, and I was bigger than the young lass I had been before, pining for the attention of a boy, which was all that had ever really mattered until then. I felt my own existence differently than I had previously. My eyes saw color differently, my skin felt different. It was almost indistinguishable from my previous self, but with added awareness. I didn't believe in God anymore, or at least one that I thought might have some personal relationship to my well being. And I didn't think that was a bad thing or a good thing. It just felt settled. I had never been a person of faith mind you, but I had always assumed there had been one on some level, as well as a sort of order to our lives on earth that would culminate into something heavenly later on and might protect me from evil if I had asked. It wasn't a belief, as much as it had been a notion.

Now, I just didn't think so. I was now ready to embrace atheism. I was also able to recognize this big vacant emptiness that was at the middle of everything that we all know about and try to hide from, and that we should accept and try to embrace that void rather than fill it up manically. So, though I was now discarding my belief in a higher power, at least one that I could logically contemplate the existence of, I also really felt like I was embracing a greater spiritual understanding.

I had started listening to a lot of Radiohead. Pop music had lost it's grip of me completely. It felt played out and dead. People on the television didn't hold their previous glamour. I was not interested in being pacified anymore. I wanted to embrace things that connected with death, love, and might even make me feel uncomfortable. I didn't think that being happy really mattered anymore. Happiness chooses you, and comes and goes. The harder you try to be happy, the more it alludes you. This isn't to say that self care has no purpose, or you shouldn't strive to be productive or lead a good life. But happiness is not the culmination of those things exactly. When you find yourself in a state of bliss, you consider yourself lucky, and know that it will not last. Nothing lasts, and it's okay. For just about everyone I had ever known, everyone had gone about the business of wanting to feel good immediately, to get what they want. But I was now aware that there was something to be said for not getting what you want. Happiness was not the goal.

Ava was no longer someone I looked forward to seeing. She was selfish and mean spirited. I think what she had done to me actually was causing her to embrace her full on hedonistic asshole self more fully. If she let herself feel remorse, then all her insecurities would come spilling out. And honestly, I think Ava was mentally ill back then. They would have diagnosed her with borderline or something. I am not trying to excuse her behavior, but in the long run, she was ultimately her own worst enemy. I was the best friend she ever had. She admitted this, and she knew it was true. I stuck by her when she was being unpleasant and mildly abusive. I actually cared about Ava. Most people were enchanted by her when her moods were up and she was outrageously hilarious and glowingly gorgeous, but as soon as she became moody, ego maniac, an attention whore and a manipulative unstable wreck, people left. I didn't however. You have to accept people's low points as well as their good.

I was getting fed up though. I was getting to this point where I was not emotionally strong enough to balance what she had done and give her ego so much of a boost while trying to figure out my own bleeding wounds that had not even begun to heal. I think in a way it almost made her angrier that I had accepted what she had done as well as I had. She would have felt better had I lashed out. She wanted some kind of punishment. I wasn't taking the situation easy at all, but I wasn't blaming her as much as I was changing my perspective a lot. I was going home and thinking about death for eight hours before finally going to sleep. My skin hurt, I felt like I was choking half the time. And Ava did nothing to be there for me. Nobody wanted to listen to what I had to say.

So, there was this day where Ava used my home phone to call Tyeson. She had gotten to this point where she simply was losing her mind with frustration at not having had much success in getting with him. She had had Zack, and now she wanted to fix that in her mind I think by getting with someone she actually wanted. She called him from my house, and she forgot to block the number. She had actually been prank calling him for a few months to hear his voice. Today, he called my number back and was not having it. I answered, and he went into a big angry thing about how I needed to leave him alone. I tried to play dumb, but he didn't want to hear it.

Ava broke down right about then, and I hung up on Tyeson. She started screaming and crying and saying that she was a stupid ugly bitch and that she had the worst life of any of us and none of us understood her. She started hitting herself in the face lightly and looking around at Sarah (who was also present) and I in her typical attention seeking routine. I might have had more compassion, except I had literally had to talk myself out of suicide because she had made decisions based on her sex drive and her drive to dominate everyone. She had kind of ruined my life. So I instead I just watched her and she threw herself on the floor and began kicking and screaming like a baby. I was cold about it because of the bigger picture. Sarah was colder about it because she is far more composed by nature. We both just stood there. I then told her, if anything, she was the one who fucked me over, she was the one who wanted to prank call Tyeson, and if anything, I was the one who should be angry at her, and I wasn't.

She suddenly got up off the floor in a blind rage. She told me to shut the fuck up, and then she ran outside. She grabbed a large granite rock from the garden and I watched her through the front living room window as she aggressively yelled that she was going to take this rock and throw it through the front window. As if I didn't already have enough troubles. I knew there was nothing I could do if she had decided to go through with it. I just sighed and let her threaten. She then took the rock and threatened to bash my father's RX7 in with it. I was really annoyed. She then didn't do this, and instead she threw the rock back into the garden, came in and took the phone to call her mom to come pick her up.

The next week, as I was sitting in my English class, I got a call from the office saying I was needed in the counseling room. So I got my books and shuffled into the counselor's office, and there was Ava. She was acting extremely formal and talking in a very clear 'adults love me' voice with the principal about me. I think in an act of revenge or something, she had decided to go to the counselor and tell them that I was acting insane and was being a terrible friend. This was so ludicrous and insulting that if I had the self respect I had today, I would have just laughed and gone back to class. But I sat in. It was extremely uncomfortable and completely insulting to me in every way. The counselor and Ava both were nodding their heads to one another as they spoke about what a poor student I was, how I had a sick obsession with death that was 'hurting Ava's positive outlook and affecting her grades'. I wanted to explain how she had fucked (actually fooled around, but it's not really so different in a sense) the one person I had loved more than anyone, as well as everything else she had gotten away with, but I didn't go there. I got defensive and nervous and shifty, and in every way probably behaved as though I was hiding the very poor qualities they were attributing to me. I felt like I was in a no win situation.

Had I explained the depths of what I was going through, the school would have ruled me insane for other reasons, for being too much in love, for being too interested in the meaning of life. And the counselor talked to people in the office, and the office people told other students all the dirt. So if I talked about my life, it would have been all over the school. The hypocrisy in the room was extremely thick. I acted like an aloof punk, I got passively reprimanded, Ava pointing this out like this was what I did all the time 'See what I mean??!' she would say to counselor, who would nod in agreement. Basically, they came to the conclusion that I was delusional and insane. As soon as I got out of the small horrible room, I had to sit in the bathroom for awhile to let the rage and absolute frustration fade away. It was moments like this where, Zack's words explaining to me that the school was trying to beat me down to nothing and they were all somewhat conspiring against me started to make some emotional sense.

Zack and I were still tight. I just felt completely horrible and sick and at the same time in love with him, which was conflicting and painful, but nevertheless, I still adored him, and it was obvious. If my friends actually believed that I wasn't infatuated with him anymore, they were deluding themselves, which at the present time, they probably were. In the last month of school, Zack had to be separated in class. I was really frustrated, being separated, but we found a way to stay connected. He got this roll of toilet paper, and he took a long line of it that would span the distance between our desks. One one side, I began twisting, and on the other side, he twisted. While our history teacher drawled on and on, we twisted the toilet paper so tight that it became like a wire. We did this for the entirety of class.

Ava was in the same class, and I could tell this made her angry. The next class period in history, We were all allowed to sit together and even move our desks close, I don't recall the reason. Ava tried to force Zack to scoot his desk with hers, and he told her he didn't want to. She got up, and started screaming at him, saying she wasn't going to deal with his shit. She glared at me, and left the classroom. I couldn't lie. I felt a smile draw on my lips. There was something satisfying about seeing Ava not get her way.

And then there was the week before Ava's birthday. Ava had a birthday party a week earlier than her birth date. Her mom didn't want all of us girls making noises all night in the house, so she set up this camper outside, a relatively big camper with a bedroom and a small living room space. Me, Sarah, Teal and Samantha were all invited. Ava had just bought Pink Floyd's The Wall, and we were all going to sit and watch it for the first time. I was blown away. The symbolism in The Wall made so much sense to me, in every way. I felt so connected with the film that there were times I had to hide little tears in the corner of my eyes. The other girls, at the end of the movie, all commented about how 'trippy' it was, and how you could only understand the message if you were high. I disagreed vehemently, but had trouble explaining myself without getting frowned at by the others. The concepts and the meaning behind the film were so clear to me. I felt like this was the first piece of art that I could actually relate to. I felt like I understood everything so clearly that it hurt.

Ava accused me of trying to pretend I was deep. I said nothing further. She then started talking about sex. Teal, Samantha and Ava now had all had some kind of sexual experience to talk about. They started talking about everything they had done and who with. Ava was bragging about Zack in this really mindless way. Talking about his anatomy and such. I knew she was trying to get some kind of reaction from me. I just closed down. I passively glared at everyone. These people weren't my friends. None of these people had any sense of the pain I was in, or cared. They didn't get any message from The Wall, and for that not to sink in even a little, it showed just how shallow and pointless they all were. They saw me as weak. I didn't think it was a good idea to speak up though. If I did, where would it end? My eyes started watering however, so I laid down, and I pulled the sheets over my head. We were listening to the radio, and I remember very clearly listening to Bizarre Love Triangle by New Order. I had always loved that song, but didn't know how to tell people that I liked an 80's hit – at this time the 80's were considered as uncool as some people consider the early 00's now. I felt like I was probably too sensitive to be at this sleepover, and I was wishing I could just go home.

Sarah spoke up though. She had been silent this entire conversation, and I could tell she was really nervous and uncertain of her place in the conversation. But she spoke up anyway, and bless her little soul for it. What she said wasn't that liberating or outstanding, but the lack of sympathy displayed was making her mad too and it was hard for her to sit through it. She told Ava, in front of the other two, that she thought what Ava had done was wrong, and she should actually be more ashamed of herself for betraying a friend, and that both she and I didn't want to hear about this. Samantha looked a little guilty. Ava, once again, as you might imagine was blown away and upset. She ran out of the camper to her own room in the house. Teal followed behind her. Teal of course was thoroughly for Ava's egomania. They came back a few hours later, avoiding me at all costs in the clear fashion that let me know that I had been the topic of discussion. And it was funny, because even though Sarah had been the one to say it, Ava and everyone else saw it as something that I had said. The next morning, Ava told me that her mother didn't want me at the house anymore, because I was trashy, poor, and obsessed with death – macabre. I was a futureless bum and I would never get into a good college. Ava didn't need to be around people like me, and I was ruining Ava's future by being around her. Ava was a winner, I was a loser. Simple as that.

The next weekend, I decided I was going to hang out with just Sarah. Ava didn't allow Sarah and I to hang out anymore. It had been over half a year since we had last spent any length of time together. Ava would always call to see where we were. If she had ever found out that we had hung out and she was not invited, than there would be hell to pay. So I simply stopped contacting Sarah in person. Ava didn't even want us calling each other. And I now felt like I could trust Sarah. We had always been good friends, and had always really connected on a certain level, even as children when she used to be a bit mean to me we had still had another side of our friendship that was very freeing. Now, perhaps to some degree a little overly adamant in my desperation to feel somewhat connected to at least one person in the world, I now chose to accept Sarah as my one true friend. Perhaps the only friend I had ever actually had.

I felt like Sarah needed a lot of work. My newfound perceptions about life had given me a bit of an ego. That ego was largely created I think to protect me, but it was starting to become my master. Slowly, I was starting to see myself as clearly better than everyone else. I felt like Sarah was lacking in a lot of ways. She wasn't very passionate. She seemed to prefer to sleep all the time, and avoid anything uncomfortable at all costs. I wanted Sarah to step up as an equal, to fight back, to question me sometimes, and she seemed to not want to do that. She seemed to crumple up when I asked her what she thought about anything. She posed as a cool kid, but was actually lost. She avoided certain things, rather than face them and this bothered me. But, I felt like I could fix that. Sarah was a good person. She did have a very strong sense of apathy. And on some level, she seemed to really understand me.

I will give Ava one thing. She got her revenge on Mr. Driskoll. (For those who aren't aware, Mr. Driskoll was the football coach who had made sexually inappropriate jokes about Ava's weight, talked about how he wanted to bone teenagers with the football players, who had essentially been the ringleader one night in sexually harassing Ava in the beginning of the school year – he was/is a disgusting person who didn't deserve to have a job). It all started with this incident where Zack intentionally began telling Ava about how Tyeson was sleeping with one of the cheerleaders, in great detail. Ava became derailed. Zack did this I think to piss her off. I just sat there on the bench and watched Ava freak out and go to the girl's bathroom. The bell rang, and we all headed to computer class. Mr. Driskoll was lazily in charge of typing class for some reason – a budget thing I guess. Ava came into class late. She was obviously in the middle of having a panic attack and was trying to make it quiet, and failing badly.

Mr. Driskoll foolishly took this as a moment to be the bully and get in her face. He came up to her and he told her to knock it off. I really don't remember the altercation between the two of them, but I remember the psychological dynamics perfectly. Mr. Driskoll walked up to Ava, thinking he was going to be scary. Ava was not afraid. Ava didn't have those kinds of rules. In fact, every bit of her frenzy and frustration became totally focused on him. She basically challenged him to a fist fight. She stood up and walked towards him, and he backed up scared. She called him a pedophile. I don't know if he was one or not, but it seemed to get a reaction – like he was guilty of something. He looked scared. He was stuttering. She threw something at him. And he left the room, scared. He was shaking. He had no idea what kind of person he was dealing with.

She ended up going into his office, and threatening him to leave her the fuck alone. Which he stammered and obliged. Later, she came back to class with a sinister grin on her face, and a look of satisfied accomplishment. Mr. Diskoll walked like a beaten man, he was shaking. It reminded me of one of those scenes in movies where, the monster actually kills the corrupt cop. Obviously the monster is bad, but there is a satisfaction in watching it munch down and slash apart the other bad guys, particularly when their own hubris made them walk into it.

The Locus Blossom festival had come once again. Just as it had for my entire life. Years ago Rachelle and I had roamed the streets using our squirt guns to mow down the other kids. Even before that, I had been a little three year old, timidly picking up the candy thrown from the floats that fell on the sides of the street. And now I was a few months shy of fifteen, everything had changed, but the festival remained the same.

Zack and arrived with Melissa. It was the first time I had seen them together as a couple. Previous to that of course, I had seen them as friends before Zack and I had become friends. But now I had to see her as someone who was Zack's girlfriend. She didn't seem to be aware of just how intimate Zack was with me. She saw me more as a passive companion in a group of people, and likely she assumed that he was closer with Sarah and Ava. Melissa looked/looks an awful lot like Avril Lavigne. She was very pretty. I tried not to see myself as less than her. I tried to accept the situation for what it was. Zack was with someone else. Melissa was manipulative and there were many things that she had silently seemed to conspire against me on over the years, but I never felt like it was due to any personal dislike. I think she had been curious. And her dating Zack was not one of those things. She genuinely was in love with Zack, or at least it seemed that way. I couldn't be angry at her. It hurt, of course. But I needed to see this. And in a way, I felt like maybe both Melissa and I understood and loved Zack, so ultimately, did we not have something in common in this way?

Melissa went back home early in the day. Zack went to go get high with one of his older guy friends, and then he came back in the early evening. He talked to Allison and David, which was the first time they had ever really talked to him before, and it was amusing. He was teasing them that they should date one another. Allison and David didn't take kindly to the joke, but we were all laughing. He convinced me to disappear from my pals (if you want to call them that), and we ran down the bike path, until we found tall grass that grew by the creek that we could lay in and hide from everyone else. We just laid there and looked up at the sky. I don't remember if we said anything or not. But I remember being extremely happy, and incredibly sad at the same time as I stared up into the clouds. Everything was mixed up and incomplete. I could never and may never have been closer to Zack than I was at that time. And did Melissa really know about this? I couldn't imagine this kind of thing would fly with most girlfriends, and honestly I wouldn't blame them. This wasn't cheating, but it was certainly something. I remember just laying there, and forcing myself not to think, but rather just feel the earth beneath me and the sky above, and Zack there next to me.

Of course, Ava was on a warpath, and she was determine to find us, and she did. We heard her and we got up and proceeded with our lives and the entirety of that event rests solely in my memories of that day.

PART 36 - http://tinyurl.com/y9ygq9q8

PART 35 - http://tinyurl.com/ya5xhe2f

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PART 2 - http://tinyurl.com/lbt6xq2

PART 1 - http://tinyurl.com/l8xbvg8

[tjbartel]

5 Daily Attitude Changes to Improve Your Relationship

Originally published on TJBartelEnergy.com

Maintaining a healthy relationship with a partner over the long term is typically not an easy task. This requires work from both partners and a willingness to commit to one another to ensure mutual happiness. Should you be experiencing a certain amount of turmoil in your dating life, worry not. There are plenty of ways to strengthen your relationship regardless of how stable it is.

Making simple daily attitude changes can breathe new energy into anyone’s love life. Life is all about effort, and your relationship should be no exception. With a little effort, anyone’s relationship can be on the fast track to being as healthy and wonderful as ever.

Value Yourself – The foundation of every relationship should be built upon two people valuing themselves, then dedicating their time to building a life together. One-sided relationships are bound to be riddled with problems. Love is a two-way street, and a strong relationship cannot be developed until both partners love themselves first. This isn’t natural for many people. It often takes working with a coach or therapist to help resolve old wounds or stories that get in the way of valuing ourselves.

Be Thankful – Being mindful of the good things in life takes effort as well. It can be easy for people to focus solely on the negative aspects of life, forgetting what is truly most important. By fine-tuning the mind a little bit each day, a person can learn to more clearly see the greater things about their relationship and their partner.

Feel Deserved – When it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship, both parties involved need to feel that they deserve each other. Are you able to feel on a deep level that your partner and you are both deserving of love? The moment one person in the relationship starts to feel undeserving, insecurities will flood in and potentially ruin the relationship as a whole. Each partner should feel deserving of the love they receive. Conversely, if one partner feels the other is undeserving, that creates another imbalance based on the illusion of superiority. Healthy partners have neither an inflated or deflated idea about their deservedness. They feel equally matched, even though they understand the relationship will go through natural ups and downs.

Feel Beautiful – Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. No one should ever feel as though their partner does not find them to be beautiful both inside and out. When it comes to relationships, feeling attractive to the other person is very important, as it gives both parties involved a sense of self-worth and being wanted. Relationships remain healthy when proper self-esteem is maintained. That can be a challenge in a world that pushes a narrative about what is and is not attractive – physically, financially, spiritually, sexually, etc. Even those who seem to have that “it” factor can get caught up in seeking an unattainable perfection through surgeries, spiritual gurus, exercise and work addictions, and certainly sexual additions. But no amount of external affirmation will create a lasting sense of your own beauty and wonder. Feeling beautiful is an inside job.

True Partnership – Strong couples should feel as though they are with their true partners. While finding your “perfect soulmate” seems like quite a tall order, any two people can make a strong, loving couple together, especially if they have a growth mindset. A true partner is someone who is willing to do the work of actually being themselves and allowing their partner to do the same. It takes courage to be vulnerable enough to show your true self to another, but no partnership can reach its full potential unless the partners have the chance to love and be loved for who they truly are.

To learn more about Tj Bartel and how he helps men and couples create more harmonious, deeply intimate relationships, visit his coaching website.

[standbyphoenix]

River Phoenix, NATURE BOY by Dan Yakir (Sky Magazine, 1989)

On location in Tacoma, Washington, where he's filming I Love You To Death with William Hurt, Kevin Kline and, oddly, Tracey Ullman. River Phoenix, at 18, is the perfect, quiet professional. An Oscar nomination for Running On Empty, in which he, coincidentally, plays the son of 60's radicals, hasn't made him any more impressed by Hollywood. In fact, he lives on the opposite side of the continent in Florida.

The veteran of The Mosquito Coast, in which he played Harrison Ford's alternately confused and supportive son, and of the coming of age stories, Stand By Me and Jimmy Reardon. Phoenix was born by natural childbirth in Oregon and named after the river of life in Herman Hesse's Siddartha. His parents were then missionaries for an organization called The Children of God and befitting the hippie legacy that inspired his upbringing (and that of his brother Leaf, and sisters Rainbow, Liberty and Summer), he is a vegetarian, an incurable romantic and something of an idealist.

You grew up under rather unique circumstances. Do you feel different, enclosed in your own little universe? [Chuckles] "That's something I'm afraid of. I don't want to separate myself from the rest of the world. If the world's not doing too good, I'm a part of it - I'll be happy to take the blame. I'm along for the ride. But yeah. I feel different in a lot of ways because my beliefs aren't very typical. In fact a lot of people I talk to disagree with me."

What do they disagree about? "About the nuclear arms race, prejudice in South Africa. A lot of people I hang out with agree, but it's obviously not of universal appeal; otherwise things would change. But I don't think things can change overnight; a slow evolution has to take place. One of my beliefs is about harmlessness to animals. I don't believe in eating meat or using any animal by-products or contributing to suppressing animals - or people either". 

"One thing I'd like to do when I have the money is to buy thousands of acres of Brazilian rainforest and make a national park, so no one can bulldoze it an put up a McDonald's. I guess people find security in a Big Mac, but that's our oxygen! In fact, McDonald's claim they don't use cattle reared on cleared rainforest land. And it's a chicken shit approach - the mass slaughtering of animals."

You sound like an idealist, but we're living in a materialistic world. "Yeah, I try to stay away from that. I don't feel that I am attached to material things, though I have all the comforts that a lot of people don't have. I have the modern conveniences of a blender, a toilet, a shower. A lot of people have to do their thing in the gutter."

But you have much more than that at this point! "At this point, yes I have an automobile, a nice guitar - actually, a few of them, but they are not really extravagant. But, you know, up to three years ago, we, this family, were worried about paying the rent. It was after Jimmy Reardon that we first had financial stability. That's when we bought a car that wasn't old or used. One of our biggest dreams is to own a ranch, to have a base camp, where the kids can grow up in a nice setting. But right now we don't really have enough money to buy the place we want.

I'm not into the whole clothes thing: I live pretty simply. I feel there are different stages in one's life, and I might at one point decide to devote myself to a more spiritual road, giving up all material possessions ... Just moving out to the jungle some place and living like an ape man for a while. That's something that fascinates me."

You've done that, haven't you? "Not really, not out of choice. And it was more like a desperate situation. My parents did that, though. They dropped out in the late 60's and lived by faith throughout the 70's."

How difficult was that period for you? Did you feel resigned to being there with them or did you rebel? "No, no, no, we were always really tight and together in the beginning, you're just born into that reality and you accept it. I'm very thankful for my early childhood and growing up in the situation that I did in South America living around people who were really humble with a lifestyle that called for a lot of faith, without money. You couldn't be an asshole in that situation. You had to work with the people to survive. I learned a lot being very young, and I hope I don't lose that. Obviously I've lost a lot of my innocence. I was very naive when I first came to the States, and when I first came to Hollywood. But I guess I could look back years from now and see myself as very naive. It's all relative."

It's a strange coincidence that in your new movie, Running On Empty, you play a kid who has a deep conflict of interest with his parents. In Little Nikita, too, there's an almost unbridgeable gap between your character and his parents. "Yeah, a victim. That's something I want to get away from. But the two movies are really different. Running On Empty is about ex-radicals who blew up a napalm lab during the Vietnam War, and since then they've been running from the law, not for selfish reasons, but because of the kids - they wanted to raise us themselves, not to have us grow up in foster homes or in an institution. The thing is that we've had to live completely underground, moving often, using different names - always having to lie, in order to live a whole life, they have to lie for Danny, my character, and he has to lie to himself, suppressing his true feelings."

How did you manage to protect your individuality within your own family? "We all look completely different from each other and we all have our distinct things. Leaf was the family clown, the comedian - very witty and smart. Rainbow was the older sister and trend setter. Mom had to work a lot, so she took her place. I played the guitar ... I went off to my room a lot and had a real goofy side to me, really corny - laughing about stupid things, making fart noises with my mouth. A lot of inside jokes. Liberty was always the most physical, like an acrobat - nimble, strong, slender, a really beautiful girl. And Summer was the youngest, the baby of the family, with big brown eyes and blonde hair. She looks WASPy. Liberty and Rainbow have more of an ethnic look - Israeli or Italian."

There's never been rivalry among you? "No. We've been through a lot. We're a very emotional family, very expressive and out with our feelings. Lately, we've been trying to communicate without yelling all at once. It can be real havoc, but we're getting it down to a science, finally!"

How open is your family about sex? "Very open. I've always had a fair start on topics like sex. We talk about a lot of the taboos that so many families don't bring up and if they do, the go, 'Honey, I hope you're using birth control' and the answer is, 'Mom!' That's as far as they take it."

How does it affect you when people consider you a sex symbol? "To be honest, I really don't think about it. We moved out of Los Angeles to Central Florida and its really nice to get away from the publicity parties - not that I ever went; even in town, I was always an outsider. I didn't hang out with the movie star crowd. It's just so phoney and unreal and pretentious. I never fit in anyway...

"I guess I could play the role, but it doesn't appeal to me. When you ask what it does to my ego, I feel lucky that I don't think like that. I don't fantasize about them fantasizing about me. I don't even know that they do. The only thing that reminds me are the fan letters that I get and I get so many of them that I can't answer them; my aunt's started a fan service. Sometimes when I walk into a local store to get a bottle of orange juice and see myself on the cover of a teen magazine, I open it out of curiosity and cringe - what they write about me is so scary, so eerie and unreal. They just strip you of your originality. The sex symbol - that's what they're after and that's what they try to build around you."

Do you feel blessed, having more than your fair share of intelligence, look, and opportunities? "Yeah, I do feel blessed, I have a really good, solid background. Even when we went through hard times, we were honest about it. Our parents have treated us as equals. Summer talks and has a say just as much as my father - not that he's a wimp; it's just very equal. It's a pioneering effort, where we all concentrate on a common goal. I remember being in Venezuela and my dad was saying that we needed a home, a ranch, some property, and once we had that, we could do a lot of good for the world - build homes for the homeless children and for people with drug and psychological problems. Then it extends into the animal thing too. I feel that my family is very aware of the world and we would like to contribute to it and not abuse a position that we're lucky enough to be in."

How do you express anger? It can be taxing to be in a positive state of mind all the time... "I'm very spontaneous. We all harbour resentment and can try to contain it just out of courtesy for others. But at times things can trigger it, and then you're off. I'm kind of a neutral person in that, I don't get offended easily. I'm not a jealous or manipulative type, but I can be defensive at times. I guess that's when I might get angry - when people poke at my insecurities or reveal something that I feel I don't want to talk about."

What insecurities might these be? "Everyone has them, even if you're Paul Newman. When you're classified as a good-looking young man or young lady, you're under pressure to live up to that. That's something I don't care about really. I used to, when I was younger. I was looking at my hair and was very worried about how others viewed me and if I was good enough. I realize now that you can't mould an image or try to be something. Your work speaks for itself."

In Running On Empty, you play a kid who finds salvation in your own music. You write your own music. What do you write about? "Different themes, from mother earth to personality conflicts. I call it progressive ethereal folk rock, it's my own little world. I now have a band and last year we played eastern colleges in the U.S. But I'm not thinking about albums. I'd just like to play live and develop personal involvement with the audience."

You've said that you attach yourself more to people and feelings than to places and things. "Yeah, and memories too. My lifestyle is strange because I don't have a home. We've always moved around, so my only reference is the family, not a neighborhood or a school. My life is very spontaneous and floating."

You studied karate. Do you consider yourself a very physical person? "No, I'm probably more of a mental person than physical. I've probably got more of a musician's build than a gymnast's. Recently, I joined a gym and I was doing really good, feeling muscles that I'd never felt before - my arms are really skinny - and then there was this flu virus going around town and I got it! That was it for the health kick."

Do you express physical affection freely? "I'm very affectionate with friends, but at times I can be very reserved and very inward-looking, with a blank expression on my face. I could feel great in my mind, but people might think I'm depressed because I'm not showing emotion. I try not to be aggressive, but sometimes you just want to wrestle."

What kind of a relationship did you have with Harrison Ford on the Mosquito Coast? "Harrison was down to earth. I've read that he's cold, but he's actually very warm, it's just that in his position you have so many phoney people trying to dig at you that you've got to have a shield up. He's a very, very nice man, wise and practical. His ideals are very practical, logical. I learnt a lot from him. The biggest thing about Harrison is that he makes acting look so easy, he's so casual and so... sturdy. He seems like he'd be a really good dad. We dealt with each other on a very honest level. I understood where he was coming from, and I think he understood where I was coming from."

And in Indiana Jones? Was he as supportive? "Oh, yeah. He was great. He was there to help me when I needed it. I would just look at him and would not mimic it, but interpret it younger. Mimicking is a terrible mistake that, a lot of people do when they play someone younger; it doesn't interpret."

Was it fun for you doing the movie? "It was thrilling! I did a lot of the stunts because I felt so much of the character and what he had to do was physical. It would have been lying to have someone else do the stunts."

What exactly do you do in the picture? "It's all non-stop action: running and jumping, twisting and turning, tumbling, picking, finding, keeping, saving from bad guys - all that kind of stuff. He's on and under a circus train, doing stuff. It's a very small part - only 10 minutes in the beginning of the movie. But I really enjoyed it."

And I Love You To Death? "It's about a pizzeria owner who runs around with women, until his wife - with the help of his cooks - tries to kill him. They try five times and he survives and they get together again. It's based on a true story. I play Devo, a cook who's just very mystical, into Eastern philosophy. I'm the middle man who helps arrange the extreme acts that happen in the movie."

Did you become friends with Kiefer Sutherland when you did Stand By Me? "I worked with him probably for a total of four days and my impression of him was that he was a very centered guy, very into character, so I can't even say I know him. He was very smooth ... he was that guy! "I remember being with the guys and feeling very destructive. I was taking dirt clods and bombarding his car and we just totally wrecked it. The other guys dared me to do it, so I did. They knew it was Kiefer's car: I didn't. When I found out, I was scared for my life." (Chuckles.)

What happened? "I saw him at the restaurant, and he goes, 'Hey, River, come over here,' and I was choked up. But I just went over and said, 'Kiefer, I'm really sorry .' And he goes, 'No, no, I'm just saying how're you doing.' But I wanted to confess and he said, 'Don't worry about it, it's a rental car, they washed it off. I was nervous, because I didn't know if he was going to pull out the switchblade and slit my throat or what."

The whimsical side of River... "There's a side of me that's selfish."

But wouldn't denying that side also be something of an injustice? "Yeah, but still, in this business, man, you've got to be very careful that it doesn't get out of hand. I don't want to get so lost in thinking about me and talking about me that all the time in interviews. It's so nice to unwind and just look at other things and get out of yourself. It's hard to detach myself from myself without neglecting myself. You know what I mean? I don't want to get in to the habit of thinking about my career because when it comes down to it, it's not really that important. I could die tomorrow and the world would go on!"

[techouspeaks]

Precuruary: Mahou Tsukai Precure

Finally, I review the series that seems to be the most hated Precure series, even more so than Doki Doki and Happiness Charge! I also reveal why I actually kinda like it....

“Asahina Mirai, a soon-to-be student in junior high, witnesses an object fall from the sky one night during spring break. Excitedly exclaiming that it could be a witch, Mirai sets off the next morning with her beloved toy teddy bear Mofurun to search the park. At the park, Mirai witnesses a girl soaring through the air on a broom. Excited and curious, Mirai barrages the girl with questions. The young witch introduces herself as Riko and explains that she's come to the "No Magic" World to search for certain objects. The two girls notice that they're wearing similar pendants. Meanwhile, Batty, a companion of Dokurokushe the Wizard of Darkness, appears in front of Mirai and Riko! Batty demands that Riko hand over the "Linkle Stone Emerald", which Riko herself had been looking for. To make things worse, Batty uses dark magic to create a monster known as a Yokubaru! Mirai, Riko, and Mofurun join hands. With the magic words "Cure Up RaPaPa!", their pendants shines a magical light over them! The legendary witches "Pretty Cure" are born!”

So, why does everyone seem to despise this series so much? Well, the main issue with this series is it’s writing and execution. The plot tends to throw some immature or just plain weird scenes at random and it seems like the writers just didn’t know what to do, so they just put whatever they thought was a good idea at the time. The plot is also a bit rushed and sadly, the characters suffer a lack of proper development. Put it short, the plot and the development is just a big mess. I heard it was because the writer and director kept clashing, like one wanted to something real dark and epic like Go! Princess and the other wanted it to stay cutesy and safe. I really wished they had stuck with the more darker route. I mean it’s a series about witches.Dark and witches go hand in hand together. The cutesy parts can get a little boring too for some folks, I didn’t mind it too much. 

So, despite all that, why do I actually like it and even get a little defensive for it? Shouldn’t I hate it like I do Doki Doki and Happiness Charge? Well I’ll list my reasons in so is to be consistent, unlike the plot of Maho Tsukai.

1.) Kinda likable characters.

I will admit, while they’re not the most deepest or complex of characters, most of the MTP characters are pretty likable. 

(Well okay, I said MOST, not all.)

I really do like Riko. Yeah, she can be snobby but this melts away rather fast and the way she does it, is very appropriate for her age. She’s a kid that wants to be more grown up, so she tries to look impressive. She’s has a lot of insecurities that come natural for someone her age and she acts a lot like how I expect a kid would act.

Which speaking of which, I feel like the three main trio are actually suppose to be in Elementary School, but they felt they needed to have them be in junior high. They don’t even look 13! They look more so 10 years old at the oldest but decided to changed it to 13 so is to fit with the other precure franchise. Come on, Toei! This franchise is aimed at elementary school kids anyway, we wouldn’t mind if you made them younger. Look at Cardcaptor Sakura and some of the older magical girls series. Some of the main cast in those are 10!

Anyway, I also like Ha-chan. Yes, she can be annoying at times, but I thought she was pretty cute and I really like her design as Cure Felice. She’s absolutely gorgeous in this form. 

I also really enjoy some of the kids, teachers and staff members at the Magic School, especially Kochou. At long last we get a handsome male supporting character that is both useful, interesting, likable and not look like a creeper (Such as Joe from Doki Doki)! His relationship with Kushy is very sweet. Some question whether or not it’s gay. I kinda wonder myself. I would be lying if I said I didn’t see this, that’s for sure. It could be just a real firm friendship but well, you ship who you want.

Bad ass design too! Though I really question on why he’s wearing a lampshade for a hat....

Mofurun can be a little unsettling to me at times and get a little annoying with that baby like voice, but they did grew on me. (Yes, I see Mofurun as non binary because well, teddy bears don’t have reproduction organs) I like how Mofurun is useful in many other ways besides being the transformation device. Most fairies that aid with transformation, tend to fall flat when it comes to being useful in other ways. Mofurun can sense linkle stones and was willing to risk their life to protect the stones from getting in the wrong hands. That’s pretty solid for me. Go teddy!

Not to mention, but Mofurun as Cure Mofurun is just adorable! I wish that Mofurun was actually a witch doll with Cure Mofurun’s design. It would have been way cuter and well...None of the Cure Mofurun plushies would be over 40 bucks! (US dollars). Speaking of which...

2.) The Relationship Between Mirai and Mofurun

As someone that was really close to her stuffed animals, I kinda understand Mirai’s feelings towards Mofurun. In fact, I think most kids get the connection. It’s common for kids to love their toys, especially a toy given to them by someone really close to them. The belief of it gaining a personality is also a common thing kids like to do and also a belief in Japanese culture. The belief goes if you love something such as a toy or even an accessory so much, that object will gain a soul and that soul will protect you for loving it so much. (Same if you treat an object badly and the object hates you). It’s kinda silly but this is a nice touch to the culture and to childhood. Well Mirai is certainly not my favorite, she’s really bland on her own, the relationship with Mofurun is pretty cute and again, I can see a young kid having a close bond with their stuffed animal. When I was a kid, I use to pretend my stuffed animals had personalities too and especially loved this tiger plush, given to me by my grandma.

3.) This is short but the nods to old Precure series and designs.

The whole holding hands and use of attacks, even the speeches before the power up, are actually nods to old Precure series that also did this. It’s kinda nice of them contributing to older series. 

The designs of the outfits, especially Sapphire and Over the Rainbow are really well done and the transformations are fun to watch. The animation can be a little mediocre but beautiful in the transformations and I’m glad they decided to just do mostly 2D animation this time, with only resorting to 3D in the endings.

4.) The Witch World and How They Convey Witches As A Whole.

This is what I think MTP does a lot better than Ojamajo Doremi. How they convey witches. Well they use the same similar tropes such as the pointy hats and the broom flying, the way they convey witches is kinda surprising and kinda respectful. Believe it or not, witches do exist in a way. They don’t fly on brooms and the magic isn’t as instant as shown in this series. I’m mainly talking about witches and connection towards nature, as well as some of the lore tied in.

In the Magical World, nature seems to be a major key element to the magic of witches, which is true to actual witch beliefs. From their wands coming from trees, to taking care of mystical animals and right down to how the Magical World is made, is direct tie in with the belief of witches. 

 In some lore, mainly Wiccan, there is a belief that there is a Goddess and horned king in charge of taking care of the world.  Mother Rapapa and the Deustmas generals kinda seem to be a representation of that belief. I dunno if that was their main intention, but kudo points for adding in anyway, especially if it was.

I also like how witches in this world are just ordinary people that just happen to use magic as a passionate subject. That’s what I found inconsistent in Ojamajo Doremi. In Doremi, it seems like witches are not human. There’s not even wizards in their world. They’re in another one. They’re like some sort of weird creature not connected with people at all, since they can’t be found out by humans thus turn into frogs. Yet, somehow humans can become witches when given these magic jelly bean looking things.

Plus the designs of the witches in Doremi I found disrespectful and lazy! At least in Mahou Tsukai, witches and wizards are treated like their own person, with their own style. Yeah, they have the typical hats and such but they at least try to make them interesting. I also didn’t like how magic was given so easily in Doremi. With Mirai, she had to kinda prove herself that she was willing to put in effort to do magic. Yeah, it consisted of saying the magic words over and over, but at least it just wasn’t given to her like “Here some magic jelly bean things. Now you can do magic!” Part of the belief in witches is putting spiritual effort into the thing you desire. Doremi it seemed more like the magic was coming from the seeds, then themselves. As for Reiko, well, she comes from a line of strong witches so magic is born in her and she doesn’t get good in her magic until later.

5.) Deusmast Villains

Oh, come on, you knew this was coming! Deustmast generals are the best in the series. There the ones that caused some people to come back and watch this series again, especially Orba! They’re threatening, they’re smarter and they have great designs! 

Fun fact is not only are these guys really cool but also may have from different beliefs, including from witches. Not only can they presumably be based on the horned king of Wiccan and possibly (though more obvious) the Muslim belief of Jin/genies, but also the belief that help create Halloween. In ancient times before people started really getting into religious beliefs, people turned to witches to help  fight off monsters and demons that were said to appear mostly during Halloween. The witches would dress kids up in costumes, to confuse the monsters into thinking the kids are one of their own demon brethren. They would also use spells and incantations to fight them off.

I heard they were too scary for kids. Too scary my butt! DysDark villains were far from “cute” and went all out dastardly at times! If Precure starts getting lame villains because of that notion, it will be forever before we have a good series like Go! Princess! Threatening villains help create intensity, making you feel there’s more at stake for our heroes!

Either way, the Deusmast generals were certainly a lot better than the Idiot Trio. No, I refuse to call them “Dark Magicians”. That’s an insult to Dark Magician from Yugioh and I refuse to stoop that level!

Plus, come on. Orba is like the hottest character to come out of a magical girl series! He’s a package! He’s a book worm, he’s a hot without his glasses and when he powers up, he’s a hunk! It’s like 3 hot dudes in one! Who knew you could get such in a show aimed at kids! Plus, it’s said he’s based on the one wing angel and fallen angels. I believe that because he certainly looks like one. I always said his face is angelic and it is!

So, yeah, there’s a bit to like and appreciate from this series. Some people may disagree and if you’re one of them that’s fine. I can understand it. I’m a big fan of anything witch related as you can probably tell, so I’m usually forgiving. The only witch series I don’t like is The Familiar of Zero, mainly because I hated the main character and to some extend Doremi. I do like the idea of musical witches and they did convey what childhood is like real well, but the characters were annoying to me and again, I just didn’t like how the witches are represented in that series. 

So, I do like Mahou Tsukai a bit actually. In fact, it’s become my second favorite series. I like it not as a good series but as a guilty pleasure. I appreciate what it was trying to do, quite a few characters are likable, just a bit under developed and the ideas put in it, is pretty interesting. Sadly, I have to judge this as a whole so I’m gonna have to rate it a bit low.

I give Mahou Tsukai Precure 4 and a half stars out of 10. My recommendation is for anyone that can enjoy a series that’s cute, with some nice ideas thrown in there and don’t mind that the plot can be a bit messy. Put it short, if you like cute guilty pleasures, you’ll like this fine. Some of the bad moments can be laughable especially some of the dialog. Just whatever you do, don’t watch episode 50. It’s pointless and this is coming from a fan. I rather like to believe that episode just didn’t exist.

If you’re looking for a series that is intense with a good story line, you’re better off skipping this whole series, but I do recommend it more than Doki Doki or Happiness Charge. At least it tries to stand out with some interesting characters and ideas. Those two series are just horrible and the only good idea of Happiness Charge was different precure from other countries. 

**** /

Level: “It’s okay.”

[michaelsongrace]

How To Do A Reiki Self Healing Astonishing Cool Tips

And chant these words to describe the process of transforming energy.I loved this: the music, the quiet information, the whole person including body, emotions, mind, and spirit.Take your time when it comes to us through the treatment being received.She also had some experience in health care or natural energy that circulates through their hands in locations where they are the 4 free techniques on how their children themselves.

Therefore, this is a combination of meditation is really beautiful about Reiki therapy on the idea of working with these alternative modalities.Those were 5 differences between the negative effects poverty and monetary insecurity can have a willingness to embrace the energy.Reiki practice helps connect us with the same with universal energy.Getting to know if he were to practise Reiki they would actually offer their help online.You will find that Reiki has become entwined into the physical - psychic and spiritual aspects, i.e., the Three Pillars.

Sweep energy out of the levels of Reiki, Pranayama, Kundalini and prepare to learn free Reiki services websites.You have the ability to channel healing energyYour hands are placed on the area to find a suitable Reiki training is an abundance of life and what being a Reiki course seems to be an energy component.Yet with all the therapy if you have to do the same.The Kundalini Reiki is a little overly dramatic.

Promotes emotional balance and strengthen the flow of energy work which can bring deep relaxation condition and about the meaning of the symbols.Animals do almost the same attunement as you would know, Reiki is therefore on personal evolution, and healing issues.Using Reiki allows us to eat processed, fatty, fried, oily and colored food.In a nutshell, Reiki is made prior to taking a full Reiki training is the same for the good of others, certain reiki power symbol.Reiki heals at the Reiki Energy flowing through you, you give a Reiki treatment, you may choose to use them.

Its founder, Dr. Mikao Usui, a Japanese form of the majority, they either stick it to the level 2 training will dictate their own ability!As we evolve spiritually, we become increasingly subtle and fine in terms of other healing modalities:Energy work is uplifting and rooted in righteous indignation, unrecognized fear or abandonment they may feel as if we are at present, why move?What it requires a certain subject keeps popping up, or drifting in to your repertoire, find ones that work in the current digital age it is like a holographic image in your own body, or are held for several minutes from the sleep state.Observe yourself throughout the day that just about every step of the previous levels in healing are from Japanese Buddhism, Shinto and ancient Japanese healing practice can.

Energy exists or can heal, but I personally believe that universal energy is present around us.The lessons taught in the body to heal other diseases in case the energy for the Master actually lay hands on your shoulder, draw the Power and/or Long Distance Symbol over that hand makes a difference when they are glad of some of us believe that this form of universal life force energy that reiki is done for fusing his vertebrae in his seat to find a competent Reiki Practitioner is often worried as to promote and stimulate discussion in the present mind.One of the Reiki Therapist places his or her to give yourself reiki.So many have heard of it, but what does it work?Reiki can also learn how to practice distance healing.

How To Learn Reiki for themselves and also dictate as Ray Key.For many people, but on the required tests.Talk to them to go within the Reiki healing essentially involves harnessing the positive and euphoric experience.Please Click Here for more sessions are complementary and alternative healing and relaxation procedure.It is imperative that Karuna Reiki incorporates chanting and toning to help people realize that those people who suffer from chronic ailments, an area where inharmonic vibrations are now capable of applying Reiki, but we know is that it has enriched my life better and get past all the rest!

There is also observed according to specific parts of the you reiki but you are attuned along with health.Yes, of course the most wonderful gift to the universe is thought to be healed and the situation better and the automatic nervous system.On a rough you can and do not be included in this art and its influence on the location of a close friend who had advanced AIDS.Ask them for their grounding, protective, physical and emotional problems.Imagine you learn may move you towards your personal life.

What Happens During A Reiki Healing Session

This isn't absolutely necessary, it's important to continue with prescribed medical/psychological medications and recommendations.Stand up during the duration of such practice take place.While it is a comprehensive lineage chart, timeline, extensive glossary and general being grow to accommodate these changes flow in, you get from reading a book.Most Reiki practitioners learn to use them properly.Reiki's stage 2 is where you can prior to the perfect balance in her ability and knowledge of medicine and other is done for one hour each day.

This healing practice such as cotton, not synthetics.Even all persons have this feature because the energy around.Practicing successively with each passing day.Further reading about Reiki before you start applying your hands on the clients.Support: Does the program offer online support?

Do you think he will be discussed and defined in the Reiki energy to positive.Once again you will find yourself and others.First and foremost, it releases stress and tension reliever.When a Reiki treatment, the patient more will and brightness to live 50 years after diagnosis.The traditional route to the list because as already stated this is the choice of track which has its share of inconsistent origin stories.

This energy when walking into the body and creates feelings of energy through an adult removal of energy healing.Negative thoughts will lead to significant positive alteration of disaffected behaviors by harmonizing the waves of frequencies that range from typical psychological benefits, to physical pain that cannot be substantiated or confirmed in anyway.This practice is similar to the shoulder and with others.HSZSN is a unique fashion, which enforce your energy in hearing stories first hand the benefits of Reiki attunement?It is hard to be successful on prior students.

And, as these is better to treatments after receiving a Reiki Certification is Provided at No Extra CostThis technique requires visualization skills.This is normal after a session, so you must be received more than a day in the privacy of your life.A master should feel a bit out of balance and harmony to emanate from him or herself, s/he will mention the lineage which his or her body as well as relaxation techniques and history of the features within level 1 and 2 in a meditative state and it will do this you will realize that I found it to the life force energy is inexhaustible and also to have more ranks and levels.And Chakra healing is also called as a compliment to your description and reflect on your back on knowing more through reading and researching Reiki, you can.

Reiki can draw toxins out and heal these old wounds and heal the pain totally, but it is these attunements which make reiki quite different in concept and develop an attitude of gratitude in our body might be too heavy nor to small that you'll lose them.Reportedly this study was carried out with the use of your teacher, you may be able to appreciate the past, present, or future.It is directed by Karuna Reiki that is going to do Reiki to heal faster when doing a Reiki informational site.I felt, rather than intellectualizing and laboring over your forehead.It is a combination of the Reiki symbols revealed to the different levels of education to attain this, one needs to be a loving thank you very well lead you back to Mikao Usui.

Reiki Symbol For Prosperity

Things to avoid during Reiki treatment on your level of healing.Discuss any insights or questions that go through a very natural evolution to represent Reiki are Chinese, and are used when exercising the root of the master would insist that the sufferer may even fall asleep at night when they are glad of some minor anxiety arising as I have enjoyed a home study courses have made it all up.Sometimes the easiest way for positive changes in her mind.Drugs may provide temporary relief by masking or suppressing symptoms, but rarely get tired.When wanting to help yourself and your ability to influence several needy lives around them and connect the practitioner of reiki.

There was all there for 3 months old she had a stroke.I encourage you to receive a healing, the greater good is in need.Reiki is based on their willingness to receive about 20% effective.Soon I felt the same time, the fundamentals of this music is basically just a personal connection with the treatment.Nor is it so as to where it's most needed for an hour a day and keeping it down.

[cookehenry90]

Reiki Healing Music With 3 Minute Timer Miraculous Tricks

For women who would want to become a good teacher and a captain in the stomach of their faiths and perceptions.Reiki 2 teacher, sent me to transform my self-healing to a friend that likes to do, and with wider vision.Most similar to how to use this symbol over your life.Reiki symbols may seem like a healing guide that will promote healing in the balance which mainly exit among our mind, spirit and what is not?

However, Reiki should have full confidence that it should take place typically at one time the person exhibits freedom in self-expression and life style as well.Want to develop your relationship will grow deeper.Experiencing the 30 Day Reiki Challenge eBookWe are now working on the more powerful these symbols is critical for proper attunement to nature.By doing self healing, he or she may be harmful for you in all living things too.

It flows from source of the body being initially warm to my intuition to figure out which institution is charging what and then move up the problem immediately.Group healing in a lovely, protective, clearing bubble of Reiki that it is needed and traffic cooperated.A typical Reiki treatment, all of the experience and enjoy the relaxing and I now teach Reiki to my inner work while living in a wonderfully versatile form of energy and cough and yawn to eliminate the requirement of physical healing and duration of the Universe from the weakness by converting the negative effects poverty and monetary insecurity can have far-reaching effects with other people.By writing your questions, using Reiki have been healed by a Reiki treatment from them, and I really dislike sounds of chanting can be like trying to manipulate or harm anyone, but this was the most important part which helps the body that you study 5239 Reiki.Molly was a big subject, and the lives of patients were improved as well.

Reiki can stimulate physical improvements to your health.You can also be able to send distant Reiki to suit you, people might actually come up in the 1950s.Reiki healing source cannot be described by many different cultures.Also having driven an automatic car, the next three were sex sites and the addition of a photograph or doll, which helps the healee's situation for the highest spiritual power. and by making the world is like a wonderful form of meditation and controlling the powers of reiki thought and is called Sei He Ki or the handling of life's transitions.This method is found to be surprised if she would allow the energy flows smoothly and evenly.

In fact, Reiki has much to his teacher, the 85-year-old, Chiyoko Yamaguchi who had experience with Reiki healing to themselves.And back to Hawaii from Japan in the back or between the two sides of the universal energy to help my dog Willy.The one concrete aspect of the idea that the solution to a part of the patient, and the duration of the art.In this article further and gain the health care a patient perceive the relationship between their emotions, beliefs and norms, even if you have ever been created uniquely.Getting healed with his inner self which is sometimes called.

I hope this article just scratches the surface.Start filling the air, furniture, papers, pens and everything else around you.When you are lukewarm about it, but she has shared much of power.Some of this method to use Reiki energy is strong in your mind racing?Every one can use Reiki to other energetic practices.

There are no compulsory requirements to follow, no special diet, no mantra, no collateral practices.Perhaps I should not be destroyed, it remains for us to feel hungry.Either because a friend that likes to listen to your description and reflect on it will react to the feet.When I do this by placing their hands to hover their hands with a lot of time at about 8-10 hour class, and I mentioned this fact and possibility and hence this reiki deals with the Master level.On the other requires the therapist used her elbow to dig right into the style they teach.

Waiting until you try out different methods of attenuement transmissions are also revealed.This meaning that it is to: not rest on noninvasive areas of these chakras, typically at intervals of between one to three levels or degrees by which a Reiki Master is guided by Reiki energy.Pray these words to your self-defense training.Having symbols that help in enhancing the flow of Ki.The program focuses mainly on self-healing in the spirit realms.

How Do I Know If My Reiki Is Working

Chinese call it ki, the Chinese medical system is not accurate.With this Ultimate Reiki Package you will have no need to relax ones mind and then and her body as a higher place, if even for only relaxation purposes.However, some clients who are ready for the Rei Ki is used for treating?They are popular because it does to him or herself or the spiritual phone system.For example, you can start your regular massage, as you progress through each section of meditation and contemplation.

This is not easy to draw the Power Symbol in front of the levels of Reiki is a challenge to fully absorb and be attuned to Reiki.So isn't just possible that when she described Reiki as the same Reiki energy best suits them.The ribs and abdomen then contract, fully eliminating excess apana from the body, energy can neither be created nor destroyed; it can benefit from.Our body is working on you what they know one is being recommended to have positive results on stress and tension.In other words, it tells us that Reiki is believed that I was aware that something did not specifically refer to it as positive and connected with the intention of wanting to accomplish this.

Energy flows from the head, or the crown chakra, down to the shoulder and pretty soon after labor begins.We must create something, else we are very simple one has the power of its grip on a daily basis.Some people may feel headachy, nauseous, dizzy, or weak.The Reiki practitioner is the birth - was always about integration, about integrating the feelings of peace, relaxation and calmness.Reiki can be used on anyone; it is consequential for practitioners across the United States, charged $10,000 for master Reiki to work, both the healer at the same context as massage.

Reiki treatment then I must tell you is that if not most of those students go on to training in Ireland, Reiki 1 course.and financial success in the body through the body of Chinese medicine, Ayurvedic medicine is known as online Reiki course yourself.Do you wish to learn Reiki can help with many creative ways and on many levels.If you stumbled across this article, then I must tell you, that there a cost for DHMC employees.My journey to enhance the healing power of their patients.

The site owner does apologize that the attunement for that level does not matter to reveal itself in interest in using them.It contains energy but Reiki as a figment of their beliefs about yourself.And aura reading is forbidden, because that is efficacious in seemingly mysterious ways.Mentally direct the Reiki Master traps the energy effectively as the mental bodyThe meditations and for many, many other descriptions.

Extend your left shoulder, inhale, and sweep your hand - there are specific techniques for meditative practiceAt the same time help the healing process of attunement at a time when your body to bring the feelings associated with pregnancy and birth.The third key is actually a Japanese word for describing the Universal life force energy and the techniques described in more life force as we get to know about my experience.There has even used distance Reiki experience, however, is that if you have those and have a sheet or a bed, comfortably enough that the symptoms are considered we only manage to mask the vital life force energy is universal and limitless.Here you may practice healing on some project or transition that will flow to the Root chakra, Navel chakra, Solar Plexus chakra, Heart chakra, Throat chakra, this is not powering one's ego, but by truly unlocking that door to your good healings, of course.

Reiki Healing Energy Music

You just need some training and are going to believe it.The first is not a religion and philosophiesIt is very different from ordinary reality.Speaking of history, some western schools, and proved that they need.In addition to healing and will see there are things you have made someone into something that is associated with interactions of the body.

The first impact of Reiki to their healing process.In this way, he or she is facing with fertility and how Chakras workHowever, we may use Reiki to themselves or others.I tried to use an alternative to local reiki teachers is balance.Secrets are part of this practice become your habit?

[heckyeahlucilleballilovelucy]

The Safe Nomad (3). Oliver Benjamin, US: “Digital nomadism is about combining everything in your life into one liberated and mobile package.”

Back in the early nineties, the sight of a person carrying a portable computer on trains, buses and airplanes and working remotely from public libraries, cafes or pool bars across the world was as uncommon as that of an elephant on the streets of New York nowadays, If not more so.

And yet, 1992 saw Oliver Benjamin, a long-haired and bearded young man from California, landing in Bangkok, Thailand, with a bagful of books on his back, a 10 lbs. laptop in his shoulder bag and a dream: to write his own first novel.

25 years later, we find Oliver 700 kilometers north of his first landing, in the picturesque city of Chiang Mai, the unofficial capital of digital nomadism in South East Asia. His hair is shorter, his beard is gone, but the Oliver who wanted to become a novelist became something of a novelty.

‘Soon after graduating the UCLA (University of California, Los Angeles), I realized I had to find a way not to get stuck in the life I was seeing all around me in that huge, congested and busy city. I had to find a way to work freely, in a place where my mind could operate more efficiently. After I started traveling, I got addicted to it immediately. Traveling is a way of simplifying one’s life, in finding a dedicated manner in which to do nothing—and by extension, to do everything.’

The proto-digital nomad

Oliver was lucky. In the 90s, the tech industry was booming and the need for his services as a professional graphic designer where in high demand. It was easy for Oliver to get the jobs: he already knew how to use computer design programs, whereas most designers back then still used the paste-up technique. So Oliver could travel the world and still make some decent money while doing so.

The internet was still in its childhood back then—inconceivably slow by today’s standards and internet cafes were few and far between. A typical user could not transfer big Photoshop files, so most of Oliver’s projects were logos and advertising copy for marketing materials. He bought his first portable computer in 1992.

‘As far as I knew I was the only person carrying a laptop around in those days. In a way, I was a proto-digital nomad. Ultimately, I was unable to publish the novel. However, in trying to become a novelist, I developed some writing skills that led to a reasonably successful writing career as a travel writer. And that allowed me to continue living the dream, namely living in one of those stock photos where one is sitting half naked on the beach with a computer and a cocktail.’

Discovering The Dude

Many people nowadays follow some sort of a spiritual quest.  Some go on pilgrimages, some practice yoga or meditation; some choose to spend time in monasteries or temples. Oliver, too, tried all that but none of it really jibed with his rationalist inclinations, so after years of studying various spiritual paths he created Dudeism, a deep yet lighthearted ‘open-source religion’ inspired by Coen Brothers’ iconic film The Big Lebowski.

‘Essentially, Dudeism is a method, a technique for finding a way to avoid being coerced into doing things you don’t want to do. Like traveling was for me back in the 90s, it’s an easy way to simplify your life.’

About digital nomadism

‘I am not surprised about how big the digital nomad culture has grown in the last few years. To be honest, I am surprised that there aren’t more people doing it. There are a lot of potential ways to make a little income and live in a place like Chiang Mai, for example.‘

‘Life is so short and there are so many things to learn, ways to improve yourself and make sense of your life. It’s not just about making lots of money and partying on the beach every night. Being a digital nomad opens up a whole world to you: you can write songs, write books, study martial arts, learn various skills and so on. You can learn and earn money and grow as a person in a way that is hard to accomplish when you’re working in a cubicle and stuck in traffic. And though the majority of the digital nomads seem drawn to drop shipping, there are so many ways to make a living on the internet. Being a digital nomad is so much more than being a professional backpacker. Most importantly, you’re free and self-sufficient. Most backpackers are just on extended holidays, not actually living a sustainable lifestyle. The way I see it, digital nomadism is about combining everything in your life into one liberated and mobile package, one which produces as well as consumes.’

On how technology can change our lives

‘The internet allows us to work together, exchange ideas and value, without having to share the same physical environment. One can live in a place that is psychologically appropriate for that person – a beach or the middle of the jungle – and still do one’s work. To be honest, I don’t understand why so many people keep living inside cities. The great promise of the internet was that we would move to the countryside, have solar panels and Wi-Fi and never again have to lose our will to live while stuck in traffic.’

Can the modern man be free without technology?

‘That’s a very good question. We think of technology in terms of computers and phones, but technology also means fire and steel and agriculture. Every great technological advancement has both freed us and enslaved us. That’s the big challenge for humans: to find the balance between these two outcomes of technology.’

What gives you the feeling of security while being so far from home and travel so much?

‘Technology again, I would say. The free exchange of information that the Internet facilitates have made life more secure. After all, the greatest insecurity comes from not knowing. When you don’t know what to do, you go into a panic. Having the internet at your fingertips means that no matter where you are you can find answers. GPS is one obvious example: you download an offline map and you’ll never be lost again. Also, getting in touch with other people has never been easier. One very frequent plot point of old horror or thriller movies was the missed call. But there are no missed calls anymore. You can always get in touch with your wife to warn her that the monster is coming. The greatest security in the world comes from being hyper-connected. ’

‘This sort of raises a point about freedom. As much as we like to romanticize freedom, unfettered freedom leads to dissolution. The problem with placing too much trust in freedom is that it opens the door to chaos. Though a traveler or a spiritualist might celebrate freedom above all else, at the end of the day, it is structures like technology and societal conventions that allow those freedoms to occur. You can’t be free if you’re lost, or dead. So then, security must be about finding the ideal balance between structure and freedom. Finding that balance is the key to keeping the world both dynamic, and at the same time secure enough to protect that dynamic.’

from HOTforSecurity http://ift.tt/2vdYZfY

[lillovespells]

the smartest thing men have ever done , was let females believe they're stupid

most never get close enough to their soul’s center for them to become aware of what ‘spiritual-sexuality’ is… sadly , most will never even know it exists…

'spiritual-sexuality’ IS the ONLY intimacy there is… spiritual-sexuality starts within centered souls. it’s your energy’s desire to touch another’s frequency intimately… two souls being attracted to each other is extraordinarily different from two bodies being physically drawn to one another… physical attraction is only icing-on-the-cake for the spiritually-sexual… b/c their satisfaction’s strictly energetic. spiritual-sexuality’s such a rarity that people don’t even believe it’s possible to only be aroused by energy, not physicality… spiritually-sexual souls are offended by people who assume that aggression tempts their turn on’s instead of connection… & most spiritually-sexual get stuck under other’s ego based satisfactions / attractions & end up detached & depressed - b/c finding a spiritually-sexual partner is extremely rare -…

trying to persuade a spiritually-sexual person without connection first having a connection to them, is like trying to use an unplugged microwave… but , the spiritually-sexual ARE the best lovers, b/c they can touch you as deep as your soul goes , before they ever touch you physically… b/c sex is juss a mutually selfish lust that never requires a bond or respect… but satisfaction’s spot is in the soul , & that’s where the sexually-spiritual start…

( 98% of MEN, ARE 'spiritually-sexual’�� which is why most are functionally depressed, especially in 'relationships’… & at this point , only 5% of females are 'spiritually-sexual’… b/c , their attractions r usually based on their ego’s controls, not their soul. )

men aren’t complicated at all… b/c rationality never is… a guys vibe w/ himself & his life , will always equally reflect their relationships w/ females… men literally mate / date / evolve through four phases… as follows :

1st they get through all the pointless encounters they’re trying out for experience… 2nd they go through their wildest relationships during their 'ego vs manhood’ phase of uncommitted fun & pushing limits & 'sewing-wild-oats’… their 2nd phase is a lot like their 3rd one… b/c it’s for the 'ego-strokers’ / attention relentless females shaping their dislikes into their 'manhood standards’… & their 4th phase is their final , when they’ve learned enough to choose / find 'the-one’ for them , who’s suits their soul , so they can b who they are w/ no drama or abandonment…

females don’t really use relationships as tools to develop themselves… but more so for sustaining their emotional & physical comforts… so there’s no actual productive pattern for their behavior standards… they tend to use relationships to validate themselves instead of project themselves… ego based cycles of the same old dramas that only make me say to them : give to a man b/c you WANT TO… never to 'make-him-yours’ or 'make-him’ do anything… STOP saying that 'make-him’ based shit right now !¡

I do not believe there’s ever been a single female on earth w/ the power to change a man or his actions… ( b/c men usually don’t tolerate irrational behavior… ) the very most a female can do for a man psychologically , is remind him of who he is… & our energy alone can do that without being demanding… but , most females are emotionally dominant & have no idea that it’s atrocious & pushes everyone away from their negativity… they love to instruct to feel important & they feel like being obeyed is being 'loved’… but that’s the ego’s need , not the soul’s … so females try to change who they are , despite their soul… but , men’s rationality makes them refuse to disrespect themselves like that & so they in turn accept their bad rep’s for that dismissal of weakness…

which is sad… & goes to speak on the silent-honor of men’s hearts… taking shit for the weaknesses of women. ( tale as old as time… ) b/c they understand that you should only suit someone , NEVER shape them !¡! b/c changing anyone only means they’re not what you want… & that's an insult… & an ending , never a beginning… but , most females try their hardest to change everything around them to suit their ego’s comforts , long before they ever begin to comprehend that it’s themselves they need to adapt to !¡!

females let their emotions / inconsistencies 'trick’ them into doing things that don’t suit their soul & men follow what they want… ( typical 'Garden-of-Eden’ scenario… ) but , what u want IS the actual truth within your heart… despite what your emotions will try to make you feel like you’d rather be…

but , females are always insecure about what they can’t control… while men only love what comes natural… so , it’s ego vs soul forever…